IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why somrone should learn a foreign language Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #reason #foregin #language #travel #work #country #somrone
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 world are learning other
languages
Use synonyms
besides
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 their mother tongue. Some citizens believe the aim
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 studying
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 language is only for working and travelling in a foreign country,
while
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 others these are not the only cause. I think there are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are learning new
languages
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will explore both points of view and summarize the conclusion. On the one hand, many benefits that
people
Use synonyms
 receive by learning
other language
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
.
For example
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, a citizen from Indonesia wants to understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japanese culture, before starting to explore the culture they will learn about Japanese first to ensure
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the meaning of every story.
Additionally
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, they can interact with
people
Use synonyms
 from Japan to gain deeper knowledge about the culture.
Thus
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, justifying the cause
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 study foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 really
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturbs
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people
Use synonyms
 overcome their
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, some citizen limits their
acknowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
show examples
 about studying
languages
Use synonyms
 for working or travelling. Most of them have opinions like that because it is the bare minimum of
people
Use synonyms
 who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to visit or
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in other countries.
For instance
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, in Australia, if someone wants to apply for
work
Correct article usage
a work
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 holiday visa, they should have an IELTS result before
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
.
This
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 is one of
Add an article
the evidences
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evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 why there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 limitations on why
people
Use synonyms
 learn English, but actually, certifications like IELTS can
we
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
used
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
other occasion
Change the wording
another occasion
other occasions
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 do not judge their perspective
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the first attempt, maybe there are other
background
Change the wording
backgrounds
show examples
 why
people
Use synonyms
 go into other
languages
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both of those perspectives are true, but I undoubtedly consider that
people
Use synonyms
 have enormous motives they acquiring other
languages
Use synonyms
. Limitations only lock our potential for seizing opportunities out there.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting points are well-organized. For example, the first body paragraph can be more clearly divided into points about cultural understanding and interacting with people from other countries.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and diverse examples to support your points. Currently, examples are somewhat limited and may not fully illustrate the range of reasons people learn foreign languages.
overall
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to make your ideas clearer. This can help improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and reasonably clear, providing a complete essay structure.
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