Some people think it is better for one single legal system throughout the world. Other say countries should have their own law. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
create law systems to protect individuals’ rights
, but there is a conflict between people
views through having a comprehensive system for all citizens in the world or having particular laws for each country. I think it is better to establish rules which are universal and particular for Change noun form
people's
people
who live on the Earth.
On one
hand, some people
believe that the best way to save the safety and human beings rights
is by building a strong single legal system surrounding the world. To clarify, there are diverse classifications of crime in the world such
as land occupation which plays a significant role in protecting other property. So to conflict between nations, governments build international relationships by providing one
signal to keep all countries' lives calm and peaceful.
However
, nations need to put their own rules for their individuals that due to
keep citizens under control and protect their properties. To elaborate more, a country has diverse kinds of creatures who live in the same land , so the government should create more than one
law to fit all age groups , situations
, and even save Correct word choice
and situations
animal's
Fix the agreement mistake
animals'
rights
from human activities. For example
, Oman's principles illustrate rule that the children under 18 years old must not have a license for driving
. Change preposition
to drive
As a result
, the rate of accidents decreased sharply to reach 12% in 2024 according to
Omani police report.
To sum up
, in my own perspective, having one
universal system will keep people
living in peace and save their rights
as well as
having various laws in one
country. I acknowledge that inside and outside co-operated build a safe environment.Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on
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task achievement
You clearly presented both sides of the argument and stated your opinion. However, your essay could benefit from more detailed explanations and stronger examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, but the transitions between ideas need to be smoother. Using cohesive devices and connectors more effectively will improve the flow of your arguments.
language accuracy
There are a few grammar and punctuation issues. Pay attention to article usage ('a comprehensive system' instead of 'comprehensive system') and conjunctions. Also, try to avoid repetitive phrases by diversifying your vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for your essay, establishing the topic and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
You included relevant examples like the Omani law on driver's licenses, which added value to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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