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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The map shows the comparison of changes in the library before and after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The map shows the comparison of changes in the library before and after five years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#comparison #changes #library #five #years #information #features #comparisons
The map depicts some changes in a library before and after five years. There are several changes in position and others
such
 as added new types of
books
. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of tables was changed and computers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 added. In general, there is a significant
changes
Change the noun form
change
show examples
 in the library. Beforehand, the location of
books
 like fiction, history, and self-help was in different directions.
Fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
Fiction
show examples
 is on the north and history and self-help
on
Add a missing verb
are on
show examples
 the west. Now, they are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same position
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
the west
show examples
west
Capitalize word
West
show examples
.
In addition
, the genre of
books
also
 added,
such
 as
kitchen
Capitalize word
Kitchen
show examples
,
economic
Replace the word
Economics
show examples
, and
law
Capitalize word
Law
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the north
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
 was replaced by children's
books
.
Next,
on the below of children's
books
, there is a new children's area. Five years ago, the total of the tables was eight and the shape was square. At present, the tables
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 to four and the shapes
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
rectangle
Fix the agreement mistake
rectangles
show examples
.
Moreover
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no newspapers and periodicals again because the place changed into films and DVDs. After that, computers
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 located on the south side of films and DVDs.
Last
,
librarian's
Correct article usage
the librarian's
show examples
 desk, entrance, and stairs remain
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their position.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, such".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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