The governments investment in art such as music and theatre is a waste of money, government must invest money on public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
Linking Words
decade, many
people
Use synonyms
have widely debated about the area, in which governments should invest. Some agree that governments should allocate funds to public service but not to
art
Use synonyms
including
music
Use synonyms
and theatre as they find it a waste. Personally, I believe authorities should invest in
art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
music
Use synonyms
, dancing, and drama as they play a crucial role in everyone's life. The primary benefit of
art
Use synonyms
is entertainment, which is essential for anyone's life. These days, many
people
Use synonyms
have a stressful lifestyle
due to
Linking Words
many reasons
such
Linking Words
as work pressure, family responsibilities, and financial stress. Most
people
Use synonyms
who are exhausted over various factors,
for instance
Linking Words
, search for a film or
music
Use synonyms
to unwind and relax after a busy day.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
allows individuals to have peace of mind
as well as
Linking Words
great mental well-being. Another significant advantage of
art
Use synonyms
is that it helps
people
Use synonyms
cultivate useful behaviours
such
Linking Words
as empathy and sympathy. If someone can feel the value of an artwork, and it could be
art
Use synonyms
,
music
Use synonyms
or drama, he or she will have a sensitive mind so that it could be easy to understand others' feelings, which is essential for current society.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
, society will be friendly and supportive, where harmony and togetherness will be encouraged. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
essay discussed why investing in
art
Use synonyms
is important for society and in my opinion, artistic work plays a critical role in anyone's life not only in cultivating valuable habits but
also
Linking Words
in entertainment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure all points in your essay clearly support your main argument. You introduced good points, but each point could be expanded further with examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will help your overall flow and make it easier for the reader to follow your thoughts.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position, which is a good start.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a clear explanation of the benefits of art, making it easy to understand your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • investment
  • art
  • music
  • theatre
  • waste
  • money
  • public service
  • agree
  • disagree
  • economy
  • jobs
  • tourists
  • revenue
  • culture
  • society
  • mental health
  • happiness
  • important
  • support
  • educate
  • social issues
  • valuable
  • long-term
  • change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: