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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teacher be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teacher #behaviour
It is essential for
children
 to distinguish between correct or improper behaviours
according to
 situations from an early age.
While
 some argue that
punishment
 is required in
this
 process, I believe
punishment
 could
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a severe impact on psychological well-being in childhood.
Punishment
 could severely affect
children
's mental condition.
A
Correct article usage
Punishment
show examples
punishment
 guides
children
 to take a proper
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 by rendering them to recognize the problem, which could occur when they did a wrong
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific situation.
However
, it requires sophisticated and enough information about the distinction between physical
punishment
 and abuse. If
this
 requirement is not totally fulfilled, it can not only affect psychological health but
also
 evoke resistance to authorize their wrong
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
According to
 research, a lack of understanding about
punishment
 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cause
children’s
 psychological problems
such
 as anxiety and trauma.
Furthermore
,
punishment
 should be administered by educational experts. Teachers have not only a diploma related to
children
's education but
also
 a deep and wide range of knowledge about which methods and discipline are needed for individuals.
Therefore
, they could approach
children’s
 wrong
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 effectively and systematically by considering diverse perspectives for
children’s
 mental health.
However
, parents’ skills to discipline their wrong
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 will not be enough to lead them
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the correct direction. In that regard, teachers will be proper when it comes to punishing kids to fix their wrong values and habits. In conclusion,
punishment
 should be avoided to prevent
children’s
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 from mental problems.
Therefore
, it should be administered by teachers rather than parents when it is required
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 kids for their mental health.
Submitted by ekgus2309 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to reinforce your arguments. This would make your points more persuasive and give the reader a clearer picture of your stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. This will make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which align well with your main argument.
task achievement
Your essay offers a balanced discussion on whether punishment is necessary for children to learn right from wrong, providing various perspectives.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • discipline
  • constructive punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • non-physical punishment
  • time-out
  • privileges
  • consequences
  • consistency
  • proportional
  • empathy
  • internalize
  • misbehavior
  • physical punishment
  • aggression
  • antisocial behavior
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