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Band 4.5

Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #qualifications #success #life
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Some individuals think that a high educational qualification can be an important
part
 of a successful life.
While
 others think that a successful life doesn't depend on schooling. In
this
 article, I will explain both sides. Nowadays, a huge amount of companies accept only
people
 who have a lofty educational attainment. It brings
people
 a great state of work, respect from employees, and
also
 from seniors. They can easily get any kind of job. A big
part
 of lucky
people
 have a dream job, thanks to their hard work in schooling. At the same time, the other
part
 of
people
 don't think the same way.
While
 other hard work, they do not care about educational position. A big
part
 of successful
people
 do not have a high educational qualification. The
overall
 rating shows that successful
people
 do not need a great educational position.
While
 others do not agree with
this
 suggestion. In my view, good qualifications in life and successful individuals depend on a benign educational performance.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to use more transitional words and phrases to better link your ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand your body paragraphs with more detailed explanations and examples to fully support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Try to rephrase some sentences for better clarity and readability. Ensure your ideas are expressed clearly and effectively without ambiguity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and both views are discussed, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is present, showing an understanding of essay organization.
coherence cohesion
The essay keeps to the topic and doesn't deviate, which helps maintain coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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