Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your option
Many
people
think that children
's experience
during Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
pre-school
will Correct your spelling
preschool
give
a significant impact Verb problem
have
for
their future Change preposition
on
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
, others believe that teenagers could be the most influential phase
to determine
Change preposition
in determining
people
's characteristics
. I strongly agree that the experiences children
will give
Verb problem
have
bigger
impact because the Correct article usage
a bigger
brain
are
developed significantly in Change the verb form
is
this
phase
when they firstly
understand basic Change the word
first
life
needs.
On the one hand, the most influential phase
of the
Correct article usage
apply
people
's life
is when they Fix the agreement mistake
lives
were
Wrong verb form
are
child
because Fix the agreement mistake
children
this
correlates to the brain
's growth. The brain
grows significantly starting from they
Rephrase
when they
were
born until Wrong verb form
are
first
1000 days of their Correct article usage
the first
life
. Therefore
, the most crucial phase
to determine characteristics
will happen even though they have not started their school yet. This
statement is proven by some pedagogical experts that
Correct pronoun usage
who
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
to give
the best parenting to cultivate Change the verb form
giving
children
's characteristics
.
On the other hand
, others think that characters will rapidly grow when people
have intense socialization with their environment, which usually happens on
teenagers. Change preposition
in
It
is because youngsters have already Correct pronoun usage
This
capability
to absorb significant information that may affect their inner characters. It proves when one of the Correct article usage
the capability
psychologists
research reveals that the quality of university will determine how successful Change to a genitive case
psychologist's
psychologists'
of
Change preposition
apply
people
's career
in the futureFix the agreement mistake
careers
,
because a remarkable university will give a good environment to find their passion and potential which Remove the comma
apply
also
affect
their characters as well.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
children
's characteristics
are developed when they enter their
early age because their Change the word
an
brain
is developed significantly to comprehend information which influences their characteristics
until they get old.Submitted by bhaswarawira on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, try to make clearer transitions between ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow from one point to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. Relate these examples directly to the point you are making to ensure they are relevant and support your main ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction does a good job of presenting both views, and your conclusion ties back to your main argument well.
task achievement
The main points are clearly stated and you have a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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