Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

#people #advocate #death #penalty #crimes #punishment #society

Many people believe that capital

punishment

is the only suitable response to violent

crimes

in society.

While

there are some negative aspects to

this

kind of

punishment

, I agree with the view that without harsh responses to certain types of

crimes

, society would face uncontrolled violence. The death penalty can be

concidered

Correct your spelling

considered

an unsuitable

punishment

due to

several reasons. The strongest argument is that we are not allowed to take somebody's life, even if they committed a severe crime.

Moreover

, human justice is not flawless all the time. In some legal cases, there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little chance of mistakes, leading to

execution

Add an article

the execution

show examples

of an innocent person.

Therefore

, some people argue that governments should stop the death penalty.

However

, other people claim that the only equal sentence for some kinds of

crimes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

capital

punishment

For example

, in many countries,

legal

Add an article

the legal

show examples

system issues the execution sentence for a person who

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

killed another human being.

The capital

Correct article usage

Capital

show examples

punishment

is not the best choice here but is the only way we have, as every human has

equal

Add an article

an equal

show examples

right to live.

In addition

, enforcing easy penalties on intense

crimes

would let criminals

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

commit those actions without

concidering

Correct your spelling

considering

its consequences.

To sum up

while

there are reasonable

disadvanteges

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

disadvantage

Change preposition

show examples

the death

penalties

Fix the agreement mistake

penalty

show examples

, I insist that it is a vital part of the

punishments

Change the noun form

punishment

show examples

laws and

effective

Correct article usage

an effective

show examples

deterrent from major

crimes

Submitted by Sara.dehghanimoini on Mon Aug 26 2024

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task achievement

Work on enhancing clarity and comprehensiveness in presenting ideas. For instance, provide more specific examples and ensure each point is elaborated thoroughly.

task achievement

Address possible counterarguments more explicitly and extend your discussion on the drawbacks of the death penalty for a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

Pay closer attention to the logical flow of the essay. Ensure that each paragraph supports your main thesis in a clear and structured way.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical connection between your points to make the argumentation more coherent. Using cohesive devices like connectors and transitions can improve readability.

task achievement

The introduction clearly presented the topic and your stance, which helps set the stage for the reader.

task achievement

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, providing closure to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Main points are generally well-supported, and the contrast between the different viewpoints was clear.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advocates
Capital punishment
Contemporary society
Violent crimes
Deterrence
Retribution
Cost-effectiveness
Imprisonment
Innocent
Unethical
Inhumane
Misuse
Legal systems
Heinous crimes
Closure
Moral concerns

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Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle. We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level. Towhat extent do you agree or disagree?

School should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

New forms of money are becoming extremely popular nowadays. Is this a positive development or adding risk to the system? Should new money technology face greater regulation and security? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.