Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, some people argue that an
advancement
in
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
has made
kids
lack
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
creativity
compared with the past.
While
some people say that
technology
provides positive
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
in
children
's creative
ideas
.
Although
the first statement is justifiable, I believe that
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancement
in
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
day
offering
Wrong verb form
offers
show examples
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
immense benefits for
creativity
among
kids
. One primary driving is there are several tools
estrablished
Correct your spelling
established
by the
advancement
of
technology
such
as Google, Youtube, and Facebook. These things
offering
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
a wide range of information, which
easily
Rephrase
is easy
show examples
for
children
to access and visually watch.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
tools
producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
an example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
crucial
ideas
, that
children
can apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to boost their creative
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. In fact,
kids
who use
technology
tend to generate faster
ideas
due to
the media they
comsumed
Correct your spelling
consumed
consume
. Another reason is
technology
Replace the word
that technological
show examples
advancement
also
provides platforms for
children
to show their
creativity
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, which
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhances
show examples
kids
' confidence.
Chidren
Correct your spelling
Children
expose their showcases by posting
thire
Correct your spelling
their
ideas
on social media platforms, providing them to meet several mentors,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
can be their
coach
Fix the agreement mistake
coaches
show examples
.
Moreover
,
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
them the
opportunituies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to use
thire
Correct your spelling
their
creativity
as a career.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
advancement
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
the platform to introduce themselves or
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
thire
Correct your spelling
their
creative products.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wellknow
Correct your spelling
well know
well-known
cosmetic brand in Thailand called "Love
Postion
Correct your spelling
Potion
"
Add a missing verb
was estrablish
show examples
estrablish
Correct your spelling
establish
established
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
a minor who
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
thire
Correct your spelling
their
own Instagram to promote
thire inovative
Correct your spelling
his innovative
lipbalm
Correct your spelling
lip balm
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
. Now she become one of the youngest
millionaire
Change to a plural noun
millionaires
show examples
in Thailand.
Hence
,
technology
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
the platforms to expose creative skills to audiences but
also
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
career
advancement
.
To conclude
, some would say that
technology
limit
Change the verb form
limits
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
creative
Replace the word
creativity
show examples
, but
according to
the proven there are immense benefits
using
Change preposition
in using
show examples
technology
to improve
creativity
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
among
kids
.
Submitted by warattayafinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all ideas are clearly and comprehensively explained. Avoid making general statements without thorough explanation or supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow and structure of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that your main points are well organized.
task response
Check for grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and proper sentence structure. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have presented relevant and specific examples to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a clear understanding of the topic, with a logical and coherent argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: