You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part time job while you are studying. So you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter give details of your study plans Explain why you want to get a part time job

Hello, my dear Tim. I hope
this
letter finds you well. First of all, I'
m
so happy to be accepted to study nursing at the Town Medical School. I hope it will be the greatest experience I have ever had.
Moreover
,
this
is your city, it makes me happy that we could stay connected and sometimes, maybe, enjoy weekends together. Second thing, I'
m
writing
this
letter for one more purpose - for asking your help with a part-time job. You know, student life is too expensive nowadays. I have some funds for my study, but I'
m
convinced that it will not be enough. So, let's try to understand what kind of job I can afford. I'
ll
study 4 days weekly - Monday to Thursday, from 8.30 am to 3 p.
m
. I suppose, I'
ll
take a break of one hour for lunch and a shower, so I'
ll
be glad to start at 4 p.
m
. It's not matter what kind of job it'
ll
be. I have a lot of experience as a waiter, babysitter,
furthermore
, as a secretary. But it can be cleaning or something like that. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks in advance, best regards. Anastassia.
Submitted by anastasia on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter is very well-structured and each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making it easy to follow. However, there is room for improvement in the logical structure by connecting some ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
While your letter addresses all the points required in the task, adding more specific details about your skills or past experiences related to the part-time jobs you are interested in could make your request more compelling.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is very friendly and appropriate for writing to a friend.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included a greeting and closing in your letter, which adds a personal touch and makes it more engaging.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
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