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Writing Samples
Band 4

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest? excitement

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world #excitement
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Nowadays, a wide number of gyms is unnoticed,
while
 sitting life is bigger and bigger. In
this
 article, I will explain the negative and positive sides of both ways. The big problem for every person is
laziness
.
While
 one part of
people
 is
laziness
, the opposite part of
people
 go to their cherished dreams and combat their inactivity.
Hence
, some have a dream body,
while
 others only dream about it. The majority of sports gyms
also
 can help
people
 lose excess weight, maintain a healthy, body, and
also
 reduce stress and anxiety. To prevent
laziness
 you must
initially
 diminish tension, eat healthy food, and do simple physical activities. A quiet wide problem of every inactivity individuals just stand up and leave their zone of comfort.
First,
decreasing a sedentary lifestyle requires primarily to stop ordering food. It is a small step that can help every inactivity person.
Also
 needs to start a new hobby that can help with tension and other negative sides.
Overall
, the majority of
people
 suffer from
laziness
 and it hardly reflects their life quality.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 good way to initiate is to abate the number of privative
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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task achievement
Try to use more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific actions or programs that have been successful in combating laziness or promoting a more active lifestyle.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are well-supported with evidence. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, properly developed with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using linking words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'Consequently,' etc. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent and formal tone throughout the essay. Avoid moving between conversational and formal styles.
task achievement
You have provided a reasonable response to the essay question, addressing both the problems of a sedentary lifestyle and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have touched on relevant ideas such as laziness, the impact of a sedentary lifestyle, and ways to combat it, which are all pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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