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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#consumer #durables #telephone #refrigerator #britain #report #university #lecturer #information
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A glance at the provided table depicts the
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
whose
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 British have in their house over
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
a period
show examples
 of 11 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television has the highest popularity in the
period
Use synonyms
 shown.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the dishwasher has the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
utilizing
Replace the word
utilisation
show examples
 between 1972 and 1983. As mentioned before,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television with
staggering
Correct article usage
a staggering
show examples
 over 93% usage
rate
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the most usable
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of customer possession of household tool's
rate
Use synonyms
, the
vacume
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaner is the second
also
Linking Words
 the peak of using
this
Linking Words
, is 95% in 1982. In the highlighted
period
Use synonyms
,
dishwasher
Correct article usage
the dishwasher
show examples
 and television
rate
Use synonyms
 of utilizing
is remain
Change the verb form
is remained
is remaining
show examples
 stable and
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 for
dishwaher
Correct your spelling
dishwasher
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 negligible
5
Change preposition
at 5
show examples
% in 1983. In striking contrast,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
telephone
Change to a plural noun
telephones
show examples
 in England
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 rose sharply and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 77%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is evident that video
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
 by 1983 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer durables
  • Annual trends
  • Ownership percentage
  • Notable increases/decreases
  • Milestones
  • Initial/final ownership
  • Comparative analysis
  • Significant changes
  • Overall trend
  • Shifts in ownership
  • Patterns in data
  • Year-on-year analysis
  • Implications
  • Data highlights
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