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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.

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In today's world, it become usual to argue that
kids
Use synonyms
 are having wider
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
that
Correct word choice
than
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 it was. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 these
preassures
Correct your spelling
pressures
 and promote several measurements to
tackel
Correct your spelling
tackle
 them. The biggest cause why it happening is because of the competitive era that are facing and children must be prepared to have certain skills which will help them to be the
winner
Fix the agreement mistake
winners
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. It pursues more
parents
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 to encourage their offspring to attend numerous types of courses.
As a result
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, many
kids
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 are suffering from stress and they do not have time to enjoy their childhood phases. It can be seen easily that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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couples nowadays use to send their
kids
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 to other classes like sports class or language
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
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 after formal school ended.
In addition
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, people who have more skills will
be acquired
Wrong verb form
acquire
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 wider offers from companies in terms of work in the future than others without. To tackle that problem, both
couple
Correct article usage
the couple
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 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should work together.
Parents
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 have to understand that their
kids
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 must
get
Verb problem
face
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 the same proportion of burdens as their ages.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of learning
in
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for
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 a whole of their days, they need
therefore
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 the time for
break
Add an article
a break
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 and
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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. It will give a sense of balance between study and play to children.
In addition
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, the government
also
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 should introduce new laws which contain the limitation for enrolling
extra
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in extra
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class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
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 for inhabitants
in
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at
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 early age.
Besides
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 that,
the
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apply
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organizations or companies must give a chance to those with
the
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apply
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limited knowledge. It will produce
feeling
Add an article
a feeling
the feeling
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 of
secure
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security
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 not only for
parents
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 but
also
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 for
kids
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. In conclusion, the main reason early age people are suffering from huge
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
challenge
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 there is a pressure from the environment to have more skills than others. To solve
this
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,
parents
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, government and companies should work together and give a sense of freedom
for
Change preposition
to
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kids
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Ensure clarity by addressing any grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
task response
Use specific examples to effectively support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure sentences are connected smoothly and logically.
task response
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, and it addresses the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically structures its points and maintains a clear flow throughout.
task response
The main points are addressed and supported to some extent.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • burden
  • strain
  • competition
  • expectations
  • demands
  • challenges
  • academic pressure
  • social influences
  • peer pressure
  • expectations
  • competition
  • recreational activities
  • playtime
  • achievement
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