The table shows propotion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
The table shows the proportion of British
adults'
and Correct your spelling
adults
children
's budgets spent on 4 common goods in 1998.
While
adults
, men
and women
spend the most budgets on food, but
Correct word choice
apply
children
, boys
and girls
spend the highest budgets on music.
Adults
, men
and women
spend less money
on videos but,children
,boys
and girls
spend less money
on food.
Adults
,men
and women
spend their five per cent money
on music.
Children
, boys
and girls
spend their
a small amount of Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
on videos.
Adults
, women
and men
spend from one to ten per cent of their money
on electronic equipments
.
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
Children
,boys
and girls
spend from five to twenty-three per cent of their money
on electronic equipments
.Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, children, men, women, boys, girls, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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