In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #university #students #home #study #city

In other nations, tertiary

students

have to choose a nearby university where they can go from their family houses and in some countries, they have to relocate to another town to study. In both cases, there are

prons

Correct your spelling

pros

show examples

and cons but I believe the benefits of studying away from

home

are more significant than the

disantvantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

. On the one hand, attending college schools which are far from

home

has its drawbacks

such

as lack of discipline. Most

students

tend to misbehave when they are not close to their

parents

as there is no one to control them.

For example

, they start trying new things

such

as drinking, smoking, sexual activities and drugs, which their

parents

can forbid them to do if they are living under the same roof.

Moreso

Correct your spelling

Moreover

show examples

, they usually forget the importance of staying in touch with their families who can continuously guide and monitor them and they end up going astray.

On the other hand

, learning far away from

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

house is an advantage as there are

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

distractions and

students

can focus. There are more disturbances at

home

unlike at school or when living alone and

this

helps

students

to have enough

self study

Add a hyphen

self-study

show examples

time.

For instance

, at

home

parents

can ask you to do house chores or send you to run some errands and

this

disturbs

Correct pronoun usage

you a

show examples

lot as the same time can be used to do some school work and

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

In addition

this

, tertiary

students

need to learn to be independent as

this

will prepare them for their future and they have to be responsible.

This

can only be achieved if they are away from their

parents

. In conclusion,

although

attending a university far away from

home

promotes

Verb problem

encourages

show examples

students

to misbehave, I believe giving them enough space to study and grow far

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

surpass

Correct subject-verb agreement

surpasses

show examples

the setbacks.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay remains focused on addressing the question and clearly states your position. The provided examples are relevant, but adding more specific details could strengthen the points made.

coherence and cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, addressing and refining minor grammatical errors would enhance the clarity of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university studies.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples that support your points effectively. This adds depth to your argument.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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