IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In other nations, tertiary
students
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 have to choose a nearby university where they can go from their family houses and in some countries, they have to relocate to another town to study. In both cases, there are
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
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 and cons but I believe the benefits of studying away from
home
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 are more significant than the
disantvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. On the one hand, attending college schools which are far from
home
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 has its drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as lack of discipline. Most
students
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 tend to misbehave when they are not close to their
parents
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 as there is no one to control them.
For example
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, they start trying new things
such
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 as drinking, smoking, sexual activities and drugs, which their
parents
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 can forbid them to do if they are living under the same roof.
Moreso
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Moreover
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, they usually forget the importance of staying in touch with their families who can continuously guide and monitor them and they end up going astray.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, learning far away from
family
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the family
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 house is an advantage as there are
less
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fewer
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 distractions and
students
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 can focus. There are more disturbances at
home
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 unlike at school or when living alone and
this
Linking Words
 helps
students
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 to have enough
self study
Add a hyphen
self-study
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 time.
For instance
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, at
home
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,
parents
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 can ask you to do house chores or send you to run some errands and
this
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 disturbs
a
Correct pronoun usage
you a
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lot as the same time can be used to do some school work and
researches
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research
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.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, tertiary
students
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 need to learn to be independent as
this
Linking Words
 will prepare them for their future and they have to be responsible.
This
Linking Words
 can only be achieved if they are away from their
parents
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 attending a university far away from
home
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promotes
Verb problem
encourages
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students
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 to misbehave, I believe giving them enough space to study and grow far
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
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 the setbacks.

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on addressing the question and clearly states your position. The provided examples are relevant, but adding more specific details could strengthen the points made.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, addressing and refining minor grammatical errors would enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university studies.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples that support your points effectively. This adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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