In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In other nations, tertiary
students
have to choose a nearby university where they can go from their family houses and in some countries, they have to relocate to another town to study. In both cases, there are
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
and cons but I believe the benefits of studying away from
home
are more significant than the
disantvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. On the one hand, attending college schools which are far from
home
has its drawbacks
such
as lack of discipline. Most
students
tend to misbehave when they are not close to their
parents
as there is no one to control them.
For example
, they start trying new things
such
as drinking, smoking, sexual activities and drugs, which their
parents
can forbid them to do if they are living under the same roof.
Moreso
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, they usually forget the importance of staying in touch with their families who can continuously guide and monitor them and they end up going astray.
On the other hand
, learning far away from
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
house is an advantage as there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
distractions and
students
can focus. There are more disturbances at
home
unlike at school or when living alone and
this
helps
students
to have enough
self study
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
time.
For instance
, at
home
,
parents
can ask you to do house chores or send you to run some errands and
this
disturbs
a
Correct pronoun usage
you a
show examples
lot as the same time can be used to do some school work and
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
.
In addition
to
this
, tertiary
students
need to learn to be independent as
this
will prepare them for their future and they have to be responsible.
This
can only be achieved if they are away from their
parents
. In conclusion,
although
attending a university far away from
home
promotes
Verb problem
encourages
show examples
students
to misbehave, I believe giving them enough space to study and grow far
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
surpass
Correct subject-verb agreement
surpasses
show examples
the setbacks.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on addressing the question and clearly states your position. The provided examples are relevant, but adding more specific details could strengthen the points made.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging. Additionally, addressing and refining minor grammatical errors would enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are logically structured, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university studies.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples that support your points effectively. This adds depth to your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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