Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the would are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

In the past three decades, the number of
car
owners
continues
Wrong verb form
has continued
show examples
to increase, posing the world “one big traffic congestion” leading the world to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
global traffic crisis. I strongly believe the world is now facing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
problem
due to
the
cars
' usage rate. And it is
also
a huge challenge for the governments to discourage
people
from driving their
cars
. One of the primary drivers for most
car
users is the lack of accessible public
transport
.
Although
public
transport
was introduced among citizens, the cost is unaffordable. In fact, in some big
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
using a
car
is cheaper compared to public
transport
.
For instance
, In Bangkok, one trip to work by personal
car
costs around 120 baht, but the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
using the metro is approximately 150 baht. The pricing gap convinces
people
to steadily drive their
cars
. To discourage
people
from using their
cars
, the government should provide not only a wider public
transport
line but
also
a cheaper price to allow all
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
classes to use public
transport
. make them affordable for all socioeconomic classes. Another thing to solve
this
issue is the policy directly related to
cars
.
Such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
increasing fuel
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
and
car
taxes.
Additionally
, implementing policies directly targeting
car
ownership,
such
as raising fuel prices and increasing
car
taxes.These two policies would make driving a
car
unaffordable for
people
, resulting in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
car
users on the road. would make driving more costly and,
therefore
, less appealing.
To conclude
, traffic congestion is a catastrophic effect every nation faces for a period of time. There are several reasons related to
this
,
such
as the high price of public
transport
. To encourage
people
to avoid driving, the governments should announce
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
new policy in terms of fuel and
car
taxes.
Submitted by warattayafinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single clear main idea, and use more linking words to connect these ideas smoothly.
task achievement
To provide a clearer and more comprehensive response, elaborate more on the measures the government can take and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
task achievement
Provided a relevant example regarding the cost of car usage versus public transport in Bangkok.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: