It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future

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In today's society, saving

money

is a beneficial activity. Some

people

believe that it is important for all, including youngsters to save

money

for their future period.

While

others differing

this

point of view. In

this

essay, I will explain why I agree with

this

statement and I support my opinion with relevant examples. On the one hand, a prominent advantage is individuals can

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs through savings. To illustrate nowadays

people

have more expectations in their life

hence

, they need

money

Therefore

, savings drive them to buy their needs.

For example

, the Author of Rich Dad Poor Dad mentioned in his book that through savings only he becomes a millionaire.

Additionally

, it will help in emergency situations

such

as hospital expenses and funerals as well.

On the other hand

, whenever

people

start to save

money

they should sacrifice their lives in many ways. In brief, they can not save

money

without reducing their spending habit.

For instance

, when a person wants to buy an iPhone he could buy it by reducing his daily needs.

Therefore

, saving

money

leads to sacrificing something in their life. In conclusion,

while

It is true that

people

should sacrifice something to save

money

, the benefits

such

fulfill

Replace the word

fulfilling

show examples

their needs and help in emergency situations offers are undeniable.

Therefore

, I strongly agree that it is important for everyone to save funds for their future.

Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on Tue Aug 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs. Use more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases to enhance flow and coherence.

task achievement

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. For instance, you can include scenarios from different cultures or economic backgrounds.

general advice

Refine sentence structures and grammar to make the essay more polished and professional.

coherence cohesion

Clear and straightforward introduction and conclusion, successfully framing the essay's argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives and provides a balanced view, clearly stating the writer's opinion and supporting it with reasons.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

231 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Charitable organizations increasingly utilize the internet and television to promote their work, a trend driven by technological advancements. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this approach, and provide your opinion with relevant examples and evidence.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.

Developments in technology are causing environmental problems. Some think the solution is for people to adjust to a simper life while others believe that technology itself can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give you opinion.