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Band 2

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages

#people #world #media #touch #news #events #advantanges #disadvamtages
In the current Era, many
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
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around the world consume social media as a routine to
connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
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 with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 people and obtain news events. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
pro
Fix the agreement mistake
pros
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 and cons of social media.
Initially
, on the one hand ,some folks consider that social media platform has several upsides .the most significant is to communicate ; it
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 us to
staying
Change the verb form
stay
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 connected with friends, family and community. The best example is
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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access to news and information.
Moreover
, it to know other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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frome verious
Correct your spelling
from various
certeries
Correct your spelling
centuries
arteries
;when
know
Change the verb form
knowing
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difference
Replace the word
different
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 acquire built
relationship
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relationships
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 and among other .inddion Opportunities for self-expression and creativity.
in different
Correct your spelling
indifferent
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site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
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such
 us
tewter
Correct your spelling
better
 ,
fasebook
Correct your spelling
facebook
 On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, there are
also
 some disadvantages, the most vital is that
wast
Correct your spelling
last
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 time they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
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 hours on the program.the other downside is that
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 physical health . For
exmple
Correct your spelling
example
 some students
site
Correct your spelling
sit
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in to
Change preposition
at
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 computer 24 hours to
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 .affect to harm
intages
Correct your spelling
vintages
images
 and physical. In conclusion matter of considerable debate
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 positive and negative aspects. And people have different views.
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs more structure, including clear and separate paragraphs for each point you make. Dividing the essay into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion will help improve readability.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and spelling mistakes. Some sentences are unclear and need correction, for example, 'In the current Era, many human around the world...' should be 'In the current era, many people around the world...'
task achievement
Expand your arguments using more relevant examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, providing statistics or specific scenarios where social media has had a significant impact on communication could support your discussion more effectively.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of social media usage, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion recognizes the existence of both positive and negative aspects of social media.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • to connect with friends and family
  • to preserve bonds
  • real-time updates
  • a wide range of perspectives
  • global happenings
  • business opportunities
  • networking opportunities
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic portrayals of life
  • privacy breaches
  • identity theft
  • addiction
  • time management
  • productivity
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