Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days, there are only a few countries which still
does
have Verb problem
apply
death
Add an article
the death
a death
penalty
in their judgmental law . Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
the
most of the countries did remove Correct article usage
apply
this
kind of Linking Words
punishment
. But Use synonyms
still
people have different ideas about that . My personal answer lies somewhere in between but I can mention some of Add a comma
still,
pros
and cons of Correct article usage
the pros
this
topic.
On a large scale , capital Linking Words
punishment
may seem against Use synonyms
the
modern civilization and human rights too . It can be considered as a barbarian act and feels Correct article usage
apply
to
violent .Replace the word
too
Linking Words
Although
, There are some other alternatives like long-time imprisonment or heavy financial Correct word choice
However
fine
for it . Fix the agreement mistake
fines
Also
, we must always keep an eye Linking Words
for
Change preposition
on
a
chance of changing Correct article usage
the
of
a criminal that with the death Change preposition
apply
penalty
there is none .
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, we should consider the rights of a Linking Words
victims
family . At first sight , the only way to ensure justice can be Change noun form
victim's
the
capital Correct article usage
apply
punishment
in their opinion as we all heard the famous phrase " An eye for an eye " .Use synonyms
According to
that , I think the Linking Words
victims
family or the community representative must play a role in assigning the Change noun form
victim's
penalty
. Use synonyms
Additionally
, another key point is the effectiveness of the fine .Linking Words
The capital
Correct article usage
Capital
punishment
, good or bad , can act as a deterrent and reduce Use synonyms
crime
rate .
Add an article
the crime
Overall
, I Linking Words
am not agree
with Change the verb form
do not agree
this
kind of Linking Words
punishment
yet I think there should be solid alternatives for it that are hard to tolerate . Use synonyms
Lastly
, the death Linking Words
penalty
should be only for the most violent kinds of crime and it must used as Use synonyms
least
as it can .Replace the word
little
Submitted by pouria.sharifzad on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is good. However, your personal opinion is not strongly stated or defended, which weakens the overall argument. Make sure to clearly express and support your opinion throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples that can strengthen your arguments. Including relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience can make your points more convincing and clearer.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure needs improvement. Some sentences could be rephrased for better flow and coherence. For example, avoid starting sentences with 'But' or 'And,' and use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer paragraphing. Start a new paragraph for each main point to improve readability and structure. This will also help in organizing your ideas better.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
You did well in including key points such as the rights of the victim's family and the potential deterrent effect of capital punishment.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a framework for the essay.