IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that competitive sports are important for a child education, others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 competitive
sports
Use synonyms
 are important for a
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 education. And it's playing
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role
Body · 1
in
shaeping
Correct your spelling
shaping
 a
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 personality.
Body · 2
For
Correct your spelling
instance
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
, Football can give the
child
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
confidence
confedence
Correct your spelling
confidence
 to be a leader in his
Correct your spelling
position
posistion
Correct your spelling
position
 and feel
Body · 3
comfortable in doing
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many sides
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
results. Maybe he win it and learn how to be
hume
Correct your spelling
humble
 about it,
Also
Linking Words
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 competitive
sports
Use synonyms
 let him try the feeling of
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
 a match and get
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
show examples
 to not give up and
contenuing
Correct your spelling
continue
 the
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
 he started.
Body · 4
Those who see it to have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact. I think they are wrong and don't
undrestand
Correct your spelling
understand
 the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of letting the
child
Use synonyms
 learn from his
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
 in life,
witch
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case is competitive
sports
Use synonyms
.
Body · 5
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they may say
it's
Correct pronoun usage
he's
she's
show examples
 going to have hard
emotione
Correct your spelling
emotions
emotional
emotion
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 in case of defeat, But these hard feelings shape his
charectear
Correct your spelling
character
 and improve mental health in a good way.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 competitive
sports
Use synonyms
 have many benefits to a
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 education and should be implemented in schools very
offten
Correct your spelling
often
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to structure your essay more effectively. This involves having a clear introduction and conclusion, as well as well-developed paragraphs for each point.
task achievement
To achieve a more complete response, ensure you address both views comprehensively and maintain good coverage across all aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. This includes exploring points in greater depth and providing additional details to support your arguments.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your points. This helps to illustrate your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, which is necessary for this type of question.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main point effectively, reinforcing the writer's opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Positive Aspects Vocabulary:**
  • Teamwork, cooperation, community, discipline, time management, physical health, combat obesity, resilience, coping skills, self-esteem, confidence, well-being
  • **Negative Aspects Vocabulary:**
  • Pressure, stress, anxiety, detrimental impact, time commitment, academic pursuits, risk of injury, severe injuries, unhealthy competition, aggression, unsportsmanlike behavior, burnout, lose interest, motivation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: