The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
of weekly income that households expended in a particular country in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
,
It is clear that
most of the family income was allocated for meals in 1968,
Whereas
, the majority of family wages were spent on entertainment in 2018,
However
, fuel and power accounted for the lowest
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
in both years. Focusing on more details, food dominated the highest percentage of households' weekly spending at 35% in 1968, which was double the percentage in 2018.
By contrast
, leisure accounted for about 9% of households' weekly spending in 1968,
while
in 2018, it was approximately double that figure,
In addition
, just above 6%
salaries
Change preposition
of salaries
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
allocated for fuel and power and it decreased to 4% in 2018.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, household and goods
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
data at about 7% in both years.
Haveing
Correct your spelling
Having
show examples
look
Wrong verb form
looked
show examples
at the two medium
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
of
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
show examples
weekly expenditure ,
houseing
Correct your spelling
housing
accounted
10
Change preposition
for 10
show examples
% in 1968, less than half of the
proportion
of the year 2018.
Additionally
, below 15%
wages
Change preposition
of wages
show examples
comprised for transport in 2018, just 7% paid
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
in 1968. Saw remain tow lowest
proportion
of
familes
Correct your spelling
families
weekly Consumption ,Personal goods
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
around 8% in 1968 and
ti
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
dropped 4% in 2018.
Moreover
,the
proportion
of clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
exactly 10% and
then
it
downward
Rephrase
went down
show examples
to
precise
Correct article usage
a precise
show examples
5% in 2018.
Submitted by f1576062618 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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