While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our planet.
Global warming and deforestation are becoming the most pressing issues day to day in our World. Even though people continue comparing them and their affection for the planet. In ozone layer.
this
essay, we will discuss both destructiveness and their harm to humanity.
First of all, global warming is the cause of people’s influence. Factory gases, trash burning, and engine exhausts cause air pollution, which has a devastating impact onAdd an article
the
Ozone
layerAdd an article
The ozone
,
is an atmospheric level, which stops sun Remove the comma
apply
lights
from reaching the Earth, and if it has any holesCorrect subject-verb agreement
light
in
, Change preposition
apply
sun
would ruinously affect Add an article
the sun
on
the Change preposition
apply
Earth
temperature. The rise of climate degrees has a large-scale affection, not only on climateChange noun form
Earth's
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
on biodiversity. Some animal species are not adapted to hot weather, for instance
, nowadays penguins and white bears, are already getting trouble in their habitats. Or sea level rise, which effect
coasted countries and Correct your spelling
affects
flooded
a lot of them.
Replace the word
floods
On the other hand
, humanity has another destructive trouble with deforestation. People usually deforestate for getting paper and creating home furniture, but they sacrifice clean and fresh air for it. Unfortunately, every year, more and more countries and cities sees
the problem of smog and lack of plants. Change the verb form
see
For instance
, Almaty has been terribly polluted for over 5 years. Deforestation changes the climate, and due to
this
, numerous diseases are arriving and spreading, like Covid-19 in 2020.
In conclusion, both of these issues are equally terrifying. They ruinly affect, not only on
people’s lives, but mostly Change preposition
apply
on
the whole world’s existence, and sooner or later, all the causes will destroy the carelessness of life, if we do not take action.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by moon2014angel on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and task requirements adequately, discussing both global warming and deforestation effectively. However, to improve, provide more in-depth analysis and expand on certain points for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but some sentences are a bit awkward or unclear. Enhance coherence by using more linking words and developing each point thoroughly. This will help in ensuring that your ideas flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples for both global warming and deforestation, which supports your arguments effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite