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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many goverment think that economic progress is their most important goal.Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#goverment #progress #people #country
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In the modern day, economic progress is the only indicator to
measure
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 a nation's
success
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.
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While some
Correct word choice
Some
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 argue that healthcare and infrastructure are
also
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 vital for a
country
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’s
success
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.the primary indicator of a nation's
success
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 I believe that an increasing economic
scale
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 is a reflection of a
nation’s
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performance
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.I believe that economic growth is the most accurate reflection of a
nation’s
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overall
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performance
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 On the one hand,
health
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care
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 and education are undeniable indicators for a
country
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 to reflect their
performance
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. The government is starving to upgrade
health
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care
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, by providing free
health
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care
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 to ensure citizens’ well-being.
The healthy
Correct article usage
Healthy
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 citizens directly affect a number of workforce and taxpayers,
directly
Correct word choice
and directly
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 contribute to a strong workforce and a robust tax base which is vital for a
nation’s
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 budget. In fact, education
also
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 plays a crucial role in a nation, the increasing number of educated people would lead to a positive development in the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, economic
scale
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 is the global measurement to reflect a
country
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’s
success
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.Most countries in
this
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 world use GDP. and Stock Exchange to
measure
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 a
nation’s
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 economic stability and financial security. In fact, economic
scale
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 plays a vital role not only in the domestic part Economic strength impacts both domestic and international standing but
also
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 in the international part.
Hence
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, a
country
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 with a high level of GDP. tend to receive assurance
among
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from
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 other nations.
For instance
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, Singapore, despite its small size, with
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 strong
economic
Replace the word
economy
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 has earned global trust, making its passport one of the most powerful.
Moreover
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, a
country
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 with a strong economic
scale
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also
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 poses positive consequences to the citizens, which could provide them
better
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with better
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 financial prospects. The government with good economic progress could provide their budget
to
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for
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 several parts related to an individual’s life.
Such
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 as free
health
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care
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 and university
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 other aspects are significant to
measure
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 a
nation’s
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performance
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, I believe that economic progress is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of “the most”accurate indicators to
measure
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 a
country
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’s
performance
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. A
country
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 with a good economic
scale
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 can
also
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 provide numerous things to ensure citizens’ higher quality of life.
Submitted by warattayafinn on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and stick to it. This enhances clarity and logical flow.
general
Incorporate a wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to show proficiency.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your main points, particularly in the argument related to economic progress.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which addresses the task effectively.
coherence
The essay's structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, facilitating easy understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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