The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.
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The given table represents the percentages of
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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unemployed British
men
Use synonyms
and women
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
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their time on various
activities
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that unemployed from both
sex
Change to a plural noun
sexes
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seem to be more active in the morning,
whereas
Linking Words
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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of those in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
were much inactive.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that numerous women began their day with chores,
while
Linking Words
that
of
Change preposition
apply
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men
Use synonyms
were looking for jobs.
To begin
Linking Words
with, a closer look
of
Change preposition
at
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the chart reported that British freelancers spent their time largely in the morning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
on
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activities
Use synonyms
like housework, shopping, job hunting and visiting friends or relatives than in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. At 49% of female unemployed spent their morning with housework, which is doubled that of in the
afternoon
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. Surprisingly,
at
Change preposition
apply
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22% of
men
Use synonyms
spent their morning
for
Change preposition
apply
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job hunting which
also
Linking Words
two-folded of those in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. In regards to sexes,
men
Use synonyms
spent time on these
activities
Use synonyms
proportionally,
whereas
Linking Words
that of
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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shows
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
distinctive figures on particular
activities
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, activities, afternoon with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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