IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some individuals say that the main environmental issue of our time is the loss of particular types of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that in
this
Linking Words
 day and
age
Add a comma
age,
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 the
loss
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 of flora and fauna is the main ecological
issue
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,
while
Linking Words
 others say that we have more crucial problems in the environment.
While
Linking Words
 the
loss
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 of individual species can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 shortage of food, I believe that it is better to solve other problems
such
Linking Words
 as water
pollution
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the
loss
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 of special plants and animals is an important
issue
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 because it can lead to food
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
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. People are used to eating meat, drinking milk and using the wool of several types of domestic animals,
hence
Linking Words
 the
loss
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 of one of them will be a colossal
issue
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 for humans.
For example
Linking Words
, if one day all horses disappear from the face of the earth, it will be an enormous
loss
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 for nations
such
Linking Words
 as Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan because they use horses for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ride
Fix the agreement mistake
rides
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,
for
Change preposition
apply
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the national games,
for
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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food,
for
Change preposition
apply
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clothes and
use
Verb problem
apply
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their milk for the drink.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, nowadays water
pollution
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 is the key complication in many countries. Because of the large amount of
garbage
Add a comma
garbage,
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 there is not enough land to throw them away, so they throw the garbage to the bottom of the oceans.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the research of scientists, more than 40 per cent of the world’s oceans are considered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is a difficult situation in biodiversity, there are ample more important problems in our time. In my point of view, for
people
Add a comma
people,
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 water
pollution
Use synonyms
 is the main
issue
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 now.

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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate more on your points to fully develop your arguments. While examples were provided, they could have been explored in greater depth.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to consistently use linking words to enhance the flow of the essay. This helps in moving smoothly between the different parts of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction and conclusion effectively outline and summarize the main argument.
relevant specific examples
Relevant specific examples were provided, which helped in illustrating the points made.
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