IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show what Uk graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what Uk graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
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The bar graphs compare how many UK
students
Use synonyms
 worked at a part-time job,
volunteed
Correct your spelling
volunteer
volunteered
 or continued their studies or even could not find a job after they graduated and postgraduated in 2008. In general, the total amount of people who
further
Linking Words
 studied after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
college was the highest point.
In addition
Linking Words
, after graduation and postgraduation,
students
Use synonyms
 who worked voluntarily accounted for the lowest number. It is clearly seen that the number of
further
Linking Words
 study
students
Use synonyms
 was nearly ten times as many as voluntary work
students
Use synonyms
, at approximately 30000 and 3500 people for graduated high schools, and at around 2700 and 345
students
Use synonyms
 for graduated colleges respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of unemployment compared with other categories of
students
Use synonyms
, excluding full-time work, was nearly the same for both destination UK
students
Use synonyms
 after leaving college.
By contrast
Linking Words
, after high school, part-time
students
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 roughly similar unemployment,
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at around 17735 and 16000 individuals respectively.
While
Linking Words
 with postgraduated
students
Use synonyms
, they were above 2500
students
Use synonyms
, nearly twice as high as unemployed
students
Use synonyms
, at around 1600 people in the same year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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