IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph above depicts information about the average per
month
Use synonyms
temperatures
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
Celsius
 in three various cities.
Along
Change preposition
During
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
, Paris and Dubai tend to increase in temperature in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Sydney had
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 trend which the
Use synonyms
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 decrease in temperature in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
. In January, Paris
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other cities,
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the most cold
city
Use synonyms
 in the first
month
Use synonyms
 which was 5
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
. The
degrees
Use synonyms
up
Add a missing verb
are up
show examples
 constantly until
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
 the peak in July and August at 20
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
. After that, the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 downward continuously until
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the
year
Use synonyms
. In another
city
Use synonyms
, Dubai
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 19
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in January. Similar
like
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Paris, the
city
Use synonyms
 showed
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
constantly's
Change the word
constant's
show examples
 trend until hit
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak at 36
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in August.
Then
Linking Words
,
slump
Wrong verb form
slumped
show examples
 significantly until
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 to 21
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
Linking Words
Last
Change the article
The last
show examples
city
Use synonyms
, Sydney had 24
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in January.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 decrease from
month
Use synonyms
 to
month
Use synonyms
 until hit the bottom at 13
degrees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in August. Later on, the
temperatures
Use synonyms
 increased again.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words month, temperatures, celcius, year, city, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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