IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph above depicts information about the average per
month
temperatures
 in
celcius
Correct your spelling
Celsius
 in three various cities.
Along
Change preposition
During
show examples
 the
year
, Paris and Dubai tend to increase in temperature in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
.
On the other hand
, Sydney had
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 trend which the
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
 decrease in temperature in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
. In January, Paris
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other cities,
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the most cold
city
 in the first
month
 which was 5
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
. The
degrees
up
Add a missing verb
are up
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 constantly until
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
 the peak in July and August at 20
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
. After that, the
temperatures
 downward continuously until
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the
year
. In another
city
, Dubai
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 19
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in January. Similar
like
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Paris, the
city
 showed
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
constantly's
Change the word
constant's
show examples
 trend until hit
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak at 36
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in August.
Then
,
slump
Wrong verb form
slumped
show examples
 significantly until
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the
year
 to 21
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
Last
Change the article
The last
show examples
city
, Sydney had 24
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in January.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, the
temperatures
 decrease from
month
 to
month
 until hit the bottom at 13
degrees
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in August. Later on, the
temperatures
 increased again.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words month, temperatures, celcius, year, city, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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