Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the products made
by
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with
show examples
sugar are
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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and
also
people use
this sugarly things
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this sugarly thing
these sugarly things
show examples
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. So
this days
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this day
these days
show examples
we can see
the
Correct your spelling
that
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diseases about food have become common.
Becuse
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Because
of
this
reasen
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reason
, many
goverments
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governments
government
think that it is a good idea to
rise
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raise
show examples
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
of products. In my
veiw
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view
, disagree with the
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statement
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
above
Submitted by rezvanmansoori388 on

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task accomplishment
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by clearly stating the position and supporting it with relevant arguments and examples.
coherence
Organize ideas into clear paragraphs. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your stance, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss a main point, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
task accomplishment
Develop each point with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.
task accomplishment
The essay acknowledges the issue of high sugar content in manufactured food and drink products, which displays an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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