Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the products made
by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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sugar are
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb increased. Consider changing it.

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and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people use
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this sugarly things
Change the determiner
this sugarly thing
these sugarly things

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun things. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. So
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun days. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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we can see
the
Correct your spelling
that

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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diseases about food have become common.
Becuse
Correct your spelling
Because

If you don’t want Becuse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reasen
Correct your spelling
reason

If you don’t want reasen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, many
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government

If you don’t want goverments to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

think that it is a good idea to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise

The word rise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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price
Add an article
the price

The noun phrase price seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of products. In my
veiw
Correct your spelling
view

If you don’t want veiw to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, disagree with the
Correct your spelling
statement
statment
Correct your spelling
statement

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above

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task accomplishment
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by clearly stating the position and supporting it with relevant arguments and examples.
coherence
Organize ideas into clear paragraphs. Start with an introduction that presents the topic and your stance, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss a main point, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your argument.
task accomplishment
Develop each point with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.
task accomplishment
The essay acknowledges the issue of high sugar content in manufactured food and drink products, which displays an understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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