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Band 4.5

Band 9: in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#band #travel #school #modes #transport #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided bar graph illustrates the data on the number of
trips
 made by children in a particular country in 1990 and 2010 for different modes of transport when
traveling
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travelling
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 to and from school.
Overall
, in 1990, walking was the most
favored
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favoured
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 mode of transport followed by
bus
, cycling, walking and
bus
, and
car
passenger
.
Conversely
, in 2010,
car
passenger
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passengers
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 became the most preferred mode of transport with a significant increase in
trips
,
while
 the other modes saw a decrease in usage. In 1990, the majority of children aged 5 to 12 opted for walking to travel to and from school, with over 12
million
trips
 recorded.
On the other hand
, the usage of
car
passenger
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passengers
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 was the lowest at slightly above 4
million
trips
.
However
, in 2010, there was a significant shift in transportation preference, as the number of
car
passenger
trips
 surged to around 11
million
, surpassing other modes. The
trips
 by walking, cycling, walking and
bus
, and
bus
 saw a substantial decline, almost halving their 1990 figures. Comparing the two years, the decline in the total number of
trips
 for buses was relatively minor, with a reduction of about 2
million
trips
. It is evident that the trend in transportation mode for school commutes among children shifted drastically from predominantly walking in 1990 to a significant preference for
car
passenger
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passengers
show examples
 in 2010.
Submitted by saeedseheim on

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task achievement
While you have included a detailed comparison, adding more specific figures and percentages for each category would further strengthen your analysis.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide a clear overview of each key feature before diving into detailed comparisons. This helps the reader better understand the main trends and shifts.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are logically organized and supported.
task achievement
The data from the graph is well-summarized and key features have been highlighted effectively, showing clear and comprehensive ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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