Band 9: in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The provided bar graph illustrates the data on the number of

trips

made by children in a particular country in 1990 and 2010 for different modes of transport when

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to and from school.

Overall

, in 1990, walking was the most

favored

Change the spelling

favoured

show examples

mode of transport followed by

bus

, cycling, walking and

bus

, and

car

passenger

Conversely

, in 2010,

car

passenger

Fix the agreement mistake

passengers

show examples

became the most preferred mode of transport with a significant increase in

trips

while

the other modes saw a decrease in usage. In 1990, the majority of children aged 5 to 12 opted for walking to travel to and from school, with over 12

million

trips

recorded.

On the other hand

, the usage of

car

passenger

Fix the agreement mistake

passengers

show examples

was the lowest at slightly above 4

million

trips

However

, in 2010, there was a significant shift in transportation preference, as the number of

car

passenger

trips

surged to around 11

million

, surpassing other modes. The

trips

by walking, cycling, walking and

bus

, and

bus

saw a substantial decline, almost halving their 1990 figures. Comparing the two years, the decline in the total number of

trips

for buses was relatively minor, with a reduction of about 2

million

trips

. It is evident that the trend in transportation mode for school commutes among children shifted drastically from predominantly walking in 1990 to a significant preference for

car

passenger

Fix the agreement mistake

passengers

show examples

in 2010.

Submitted by saeedseheim on Wed Aug 28 2024

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task achievement

While you have included a detailed comparison, adding more specific figures and percentages for each category would further strengthen your analysis.

task achievement

Ensure that you provide a clear overview of each key feature before diving into detailed comparisons. This helps the reader better understand the main trends and shifts.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured with clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are logically organized and supported.

task achievement

The data from the graph is well-summarized and key features have been highlighted effectively, showing clear and comprehensive ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

225 words

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Band 9: in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Nowadays it has become increasingly popular to shop online rather than too shop in-store. Is this a positive or negative development?

in spite of the advances made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?