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Writing Samples
Band 5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#places #world #tourism #source #income
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In the modern
world
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,
toursim
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tourism
 is a
fundemental
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fundamental
 source of
income
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 for some countries
,
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apply
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 and helps them popularize their
culture
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.
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However
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However,
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 I believe that the
over reliance
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overreliance
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 on
tourism
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 leads to underdeveloped nations and extremely
over priced
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overpriced
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markets
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. In short,the locals suffer from all the drawbacks of
tourism
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. On
one
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the one
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 hand,
toursim
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tourism
 protects the
culture
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 from
globelization
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globalisation
 as tourists from all over the
world
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 visit traditional tourist attractions to learn about the heritage and
culture
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 of the country they are visiting.
Thus
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, in the modern
world
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tourism
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 is crucial to protect our roots from being
forgoten
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forgotten
.
For example
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, during the FIFA
World
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 Cup, Qatar
empisized
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emphasised
 its traditions in order to teach them to the
world
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 and protect them from disappearing.
Moreover
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,
tourism
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 is a stable source of
income
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which
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on which
show examples
 nations can rely.To put it in another way, Economists have proven that
while
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income
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 from gas and oil might fluctuate in the future, profits from
tourism
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 are likely to surge because individuals are
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 more and more.
On the other hand
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,
toursim
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tourism
 might result in overpriced
markets
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. It is known that shops raise their prices to gain more profits from tourists.
However
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, studies have shown that higher prices
effect
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affect
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 the locals as well because they are unable to purchase necessities anymore.
For instance
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, the cost of living in France
have
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has
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 increased exponentially in the past decade because of the overpriced
markets
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.
Furthermore
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,
tourism
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 might hinder the country's
overall
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 development because all individuals are drawn to working in
tourism
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 rather than in jobs which benefit the country.
For example
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, more and more people are becoming tour guides in Qatar
instead
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 of working in other fields
due to
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 convenience and higher salaries.
As a result
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, there is a shortage of doctors in the
health care
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healthcare
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 sector. In conclusion, I believe that
while
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tourism
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 has some benefits,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 its disadvantages outweigh them.
Tourism
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 might be a source of
income
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 and a
protecter
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protector
 of
culture
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, but in the long
run
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run,
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 it will lead to underdevelopment and
over priced
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overpriced
show examples
markets
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.
Submitted by wd2288402 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure there is consistent development within paragraphs. Some arguments could benefit from deeper analysis or additional examples. For instance, expand on how tourism affects locals' daily lives in terms of housing and employment.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas within and across paragraphs. This helps maintain a seamless flow of ideas, making the essay more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos—such as 'fundemental' instead of 'fundamental' and 'toursim' instead of 'tourism'—which can impact readability. Proofreading for these errors can improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, creating a well-rounded structure for your essay. This helps frame your arguments effectively and leaves a strong final impression.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to back up your points, which strengthens your arguments and makes them more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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