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Band 5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#places #world #tourism #source #income
In the modern
world
,
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 is a
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
 source of
income
 for some countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and helps them popularize their
culture
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 I believe that the
over reliance
Correct your spelling
overreliance
show examples
 on
tourism
 leads to underdeveloped nations and extremely
over priced
Correct your spelling
overpriced
show examples
markets
. In short,the locals suffer from all the drawbacks of
tourism
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 protects the
culture
 from
globelization
Correct your spelling
globalisation
 as tourists from all over the
world
 visit traditional tourist attractions to learn about the heritage and
culture
 of the country they are visiting.
Thus
, in the modern
world
tourism
 is crucial to protect our roots from being
forgoten
Correct your spelling
forgotten
.
For example
, during the FIFA
World
 Cup, Qatar
empisized
Correct your spelling
emphasised
 its traditions in order to teach them to the
world
 and protect them from disappearing.
Moreover
,
tourism
 is a stable source of
income
which
Change preposition
on which
show examples
 nations can rely.To put it in another way, Economists have proven that
while
income
 from gas and oil might fluctuate in the future, profits from
tourism
 are likely to surge because individuals are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 more and more.
On the other hand
,
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 might result in overpriced
markets
. It is known that shops raise their prices to gain more profits from tourists.
However
, studies have shown that higher prices
effect
Replace the word
affect
show examples
 the locals as well because they are unable to purchase necessities anymore.
For instance
, the cost of living in France
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased exponentially in the past decade because of the overpriced
markets
.
Furthermore
,
tourism
 might hinder the country's
overall
 development because all individuals are drawn to working in
tourism
 rather than in jobs which benefit the country.
For example
, more and more people are becoming tour guides in Qatar
instead
 of working in other fields
due to
 convenience and higher salaries.
As a result
, there is a shortage of doctors in the
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 sector. In conclusion, I believe that
while
tourism
 has some benefits,
it is clear that
 its disadvantages outweigh them.
Tourism
 might be a source of
income
 and a
protecter
Correct your spelling
protector
 of
culture
, but in the long
run
Add a comma
run,
show examples
 it will lead to underdevelopment and
over priced
Correct your spelling
overpriced
show examples
markets
.
Submitted by wd2288402 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure there is consistent development within paragraphs. Some arguments could benefit from deeper analysis or additional examples. For instance, expand on how tourism affects locals' daily lives in terms of housing and employment.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas within and across paragraphs. This helps maintain a seamless flow of ideas, making the essay more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos—such as 'fundemental' instead of 'fundamental' and 'toursim' instead of 'tourism'—which can impact readability. Proofreading for these errors can improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, creating a well-rounded structure for your essay. This helps frame your arguments effectively and leaves a strong final impression.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to back up your points, which strengthens your arguments and makes them more persuasive.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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