IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
according to
Linking Words
 raise population, government have to find
alterantive
Correct your spelling
alternative
food
Use synonyms
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 like
insects
Use synonyms
 product in order to strike
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
betwenn
Correct your spelling
between
 supply and demand
while
Linking Words
group
Add an article
a group
the group
show examples
 of people have
notion
Add an article
the notion
a notion
show examples
 that consuming
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is not appropriate for human health and
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 hazardous
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
on the one hand, eating
insects
Use synonyms
 bears a quite number of
upside
Fix the agreement mistake
upsides
show examples
.
firstly
Linking Words
,
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 the latest experts'
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
,
insects
Use synonyms
 have high value
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 nutrition like high protein and less saturated fat
hence
Linking Words
 consuming
insects
Use synonyms
beacome
Correct your spelling
become
became
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
 snack and street
food
Use synonyms
 ,
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in the East like China and Korea,
although
Linking Words
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 agreeable in the West.
secondly
Linking Words
,
mass
Add an article
a mass
the mass
show examples
 product of
insects
Use synonyms
 leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 net price
therefore
Linking Words
 all classes of
Correct your spelling
society
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
 are able to eat them and provide their basic body needs because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 expense of meat products
Body paragraph 2
surge
hence
Linking Words
 eating
insects
Use synonyms
 would be
prevailing
Correct article usage
the prevailing
show examples
 alternative with affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 for meeting needs.
Body paragraph 3
on the other hand
Linking Words
, insect products have some
downdides
Correct your spelling
downsides
.
firstly
Linking Words
, plants and trees are
food
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 for
insects
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that produced
show examples
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 some gases being able to have detrimental effects on soil and
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
hence
Linking Words
 producing
insects
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
large-scale
Correct article usage
a large-scale
show examples
 effect on decreasing
vegtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 and changing weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 by producing gases.
Body paragraph 4
secondaly
Correct your spelling
secondary
secondly
, producing
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 beyond the control
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 about some damage to
Correct article usage
the infrastructre
show examples
infrastructre
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 specially
wooden
Replace the word
wood
show examples
 and steel.
Conclusion
as outlined above, producing and eating
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 have different advantages and disadvantages
although
Linking Words
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 outweigh the side effects if the government created reliable terms to conserve nature and urban constructure,
insects
Use synonyms
 would be
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
show examples
 and common
food
Use synonyms
 source in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future.

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task achievement
Ensure that every point you make is supported with relevant examples or evidence. For instance, you mentioned the nutritional benefits of insects but didn't provide any detailed examples or studies to back this claim.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph seamlessly transitions from one idea to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help in achieving this.
coherence cohesion
Although your main points are clear, they should be better supported. For example, the impact on infrastructure from insect farming needs more detailed explanation and supporting points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion and introduction are present, giving the essay a complete structure. This helps in delivering a clear message to the reader.
task achievement
You addressed both the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects, covering the main points required in the task.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • food scarcity
  • edible insects
  • nutritional benefits
  • cultural barriers
  • psychological barriers
  • mainstream food source
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmentally sustainable
  • economic benefits
  • local farmers
  • health safety
  • allergies
  • pesticides
  • pollutants
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • regulations
  • hygiene
  • unforeseen consequences
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