in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the average lifespan has been increasing all over the world. Some may argue that the ageing population creates difficulties for society,

while

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others believe that it could lead to more merits for the public.

This

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essay will discuss both views, before presenting my own. On the one hand, it is obvious that the elderly people are much more knowledgeable compared to the new generation. They definitely have a number of valuable experiences that young individuals could never have achieved before reaching middle age. If the government could establish and expand more opportunities for aged people, most of them would be able to work comfortably until their retirement.

Moreover

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, they could play an essential role in families. Grandparents can take care of their grandchildren better than any other nannies. In

this

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situation, mothers become able to get back to work as soon as possible.

Also

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, new parents could save a significant amount of money,

due to

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the fact that they don’t need nursery centres or babysitters anymore.

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, in Iran, the ratio of working mothers has been increasing,

due to

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the fact that grandparents help them to raise their kids.

On the other hand

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, looking after the elderly may require a huge budget. Most of them have some necessary needs that should be met.

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, the government must spend a lot on plenty of special facilities in cities.

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, London has started a new program that costs a fortune. It is about designing wide pavements

in particular

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for old individuals. In conclusion,

although

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taking care of the elderly could cost a lot or have some problems, having them is a great miracle for all of us. So I believe that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.

mahtaesmailianWed Aug 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your points. For instance, giving more details about how exactly the elderly contribute to society apart from taking care of grandchildren.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases can help in this regard.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on the ageing population, which is essential for task achievement.

task achievement

You used relevant and specific examples, such as the Iranian working mothers and the program in London, to illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, providing a strong framework for the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay's logical structure is good, with separate paragraphs discussing different points of view.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

You travelled abroad and faced problems at airport. Write an letter to the airport manager and provide -your flight details -what is problem -suggest some improvements you want to see

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more common than face to face interaction. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that people living in the twenty-first century have a better standard of living as compared to previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?