in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the average lifespan has been increasing all over the world. Some may argue that the ageing population creates difficulties for society,
while
others believe that it could lead to more merits for the public. This
essay will discuss both views, before presenting my own.
On the one hand, it is obvious that the elderly people are much more knowledgeable compared to the new generation. They definitely have a number of valuable experiences that young individuals could never have achieved before reaching middle age. If the government could establish and expand more opportunities for aged people, most of them would be able to work comfortably until their retirement. Moreover
, they could play an essential role in families. Grandparents can take care of their grandchildren better than any other nannies. In this
situation, mothers become able to get back to work as soon as possible. Also
, new parents could save a significant amount of money, due to
the fact that they don’t need nursery centres or babysitters anymore. For example
, in Iran, the ratio of working mothers has been increasing, due to
the fact that grandparents help them to raise their kids.
On the other hand
, looking after the elderly may require a huge budget. Most of them have some necessary needs that should be met. Consequently
, the government must spend a lot on plenty of special facilities in cities. For example
, London has started a new program that costs a fortune. It is about designing wide pavements in particular
for old individuals.
In conclusion, although
taking care of the elderly could cost a lot or have some problems, having them is a great miracle for all of us. So I believe that the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.Submitted by mahtaesmailian on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on specific examples to support your points. For instance, giving more details about how exactly the elderly contribute to society apart from taking care of grandchildren.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases can help in this regard.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on the ageing population, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples, such as the Iranian working mothers and the program in London, to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, providing a strong framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is good, with separate paragraphs discussing different points of view.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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