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Writing Samples /
Band 4

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, so there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #computers #devices #access #information #books #magazines #newspaper #disagree？
searching for information has various methods, either through technology or through traditional ways. Many people argue that computers and electric equipment should replace paper-based methods. I completely agree that traditional ways
for
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of
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searhing
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searching
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for informtion
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informtion
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information
 will not be needed any more. Nowadays, computers and
electric
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electrical
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 devices
has
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have
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 gained more popularity
due to
 their ease of
usea
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use
 and
accessability
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accessibility
.
Firstly
, computers
has
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have
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 made searching for any piece of information
Submitted by haderabouslema93 on

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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and supported with specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific technological tools or platforms that enhance information access.
coherence cohesion
Working on transitions between points can help improve cohesion. Explicitly connecting sentences and paragraphs will guide the reader through your essay seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding your introduction and conclusion. Your introduction could provide a brief overview of both sides of the argument, even if you ultimately agree with one side. Your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
The topic is directly addressed, showing a clear stance on the issue, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, beginning with an introduction that states the central argument. This is positive for coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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