Some people believe that students of all grades should be required to study physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #students #grades #study #education #school

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

I completely agree that physical

education

Use synonyms

classes should be compulsory for all public

school

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

in all grades.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain why I agree with that.

First,

Linking Words

physical

education

Use synonyms

courses promote

children

Use synonyms

’s general health. Researchers have proved that

exercise

Use synonyms

has maximum benefit if done regularly.

For example

Linking Words

, Smith found out that

students

Use synonyms

who played football every day had better physical and mental health. When

students

Use synonyms

play football, they use muscles for running and kicking balls. These actions make their muscles stronger.

Moreover

Linking Words

, football can help to eliminate stress from

school

Use synonyms

. When

students

Use synonyms

play

sports

Use synonyms

, their body will release hormones that help to reduce stress.

Therefore

Linking Words

exercise

Use synonyms

can have both physical and mental health benefits. So,

students

Use synonyms

should learn the importance of physical fitness and work in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

at an early age.

Second,

Linking Words

physical

education

Use synonyms

teaches

children

Use synonyms

transferable life skills. They will learn about teamwork

while

Linking Words

playing team

sports

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, when

children

Use synonyms

play basketball. They need to work in a team and help each other

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

their score. At the same time, they will learn about the benefits of healthy competition

while

Linking Words

there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

competition between teams.

Children

Use synonyms

need to accept the final result of the competition.

Moreover

Linking Words

, kids will learn about communication skills because they need to communicate with their coach and

teachers

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

receiving game guidance or suggestions.

As a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

become good listeners and negotiate well. They will have various soft skills that are transferable in their life when they join group

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

school

Use synonyms

with their friends. They will have good teamwork,

good

Correct word choice

and good

show examples

communication and can be

acceptable

Replace the word

accepting

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

other ideas when they have a discussion.

Finally

Linking Words

, schools have various resources to contribute to their

students

Use synonyms

. In the part of physical

education

Use synonyms

training.

Teachers

Use synonyms

can teach more effectively than

children

Use synonyms

’s parents.

Teachers

Use synonyms

usually graduate from physical

education

Use synonyms

so they recognize and are experts in

sports

Use synonyms

. They can teach techniques and have suggestions to

students

Use synonyms

that help to reduce the risk of accidents when

students

Use synonyms

exercise

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

teachers

Use synonyms

will point

students

Use synonyms

toward new and interesting

sports

Use synonyms

Change preposition

through

show examples

various modules in PE classes.

Students

Use synonyms

will have experience in many types of

sports

Use synonyms

and know about their interests.

Moreover

Linking Words

, schools generally have the appropriate facilities and equipment. Because they have a large area and equipment for

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as gym, basketball court, ping pong table,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc. So,

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

school’s

Change noun form

school

show examples

resources

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

contribute

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

students

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new experiences and save them from danger

Change preposition

through

show examples

exercise

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above. I believe that

students

Use synonyms

should be required to study physical

education

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

Submitted by jeebjib14 on Thu Aug 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Though the essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, ensure to avoid repetition of certain phrases like 'physical education.' You can use synonyms or rephrase sentences to keep it engaging.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the overall flow by using more complex sentence structures and a variety of transitional phrases. This will make the essay more engaging and coherent.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos like 'accumulative' instead of 'communicative' and missing spaces after some punctuation marks to improve the readability of your essay.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, showing a good understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, making the essay well-rounded.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates good logical structure with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point, making it easy for the reader to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

429 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both individual and society. Do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In contemporary society, there is a growing trend towards the belief that marrying at a young age may not align effectively with personal and professional aspirations. Increasingly, individuals are prioritizing career advancement and personal development over early commitment to marriage and family. In my view, individuals who wish to establish a family should consider marrying before the age of 30, as advancing age often poses significant challenges related to conception and child-rearing.
4.5
band
Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a discussion among people about forcing teenager to do voluntary work in the community in their free time. Proponents say this will be a good influence on the community. In this essay, I will discuss this view and give my opinion.
7.5
band
More and more people are buying fashionable clothes these days. Does it have more negative or positive effects? Give reasons for your answers and include examples relevant to your experience.
Nowadays, we can see a significant trend in the majority of individuals purchasing state-of-the-art clothes. While extending a variety of outfits represents people's wealth and their interest in fashion, there are some alternative destinations to spend private revenues like charity foundations or other community-related projects.
6
band
Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more that those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
In recent years, people have long interested in identifying the forces that contributing to the income of professional workers and those people who engage in sports and entertainment. I tend to agree with the above-mentioned opinion.
5
band
Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals think that our investment in space exploration technology is not worth it and the money should go to other important sectors which have more positive effects on us. I agree that we should focus on the real-life problems which are directly affecting our lives such as global warming and hunger in poor countries.

Some people believe that students of all grades should be required to study physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both individual and society. Do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are buying fashionable clothes these days. Does it have more negative or positive effects? Give reasons for your answers and include examples relevant to your experience.

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more that those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that the money spend on space exploration technology is not justifiable. The money should be spent on other beneficial things. To what extend do you agree or disagree?