Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?
Some nations argue that governments should fund
its
money on public benefits rather than spending it on Correct pronoun usage
their
celebrations
. This
essay will argue why the government should spend it
expenditure on public health.
Nowadays, around the world numerous countries have their own Change the pronoun
its
celebrations
that are held yearly. Furthermore
, Funding the celebrations
can be quite expensive and take a huge budget for the
one particular event . To give a clear example , every year Indonasia spend over 1 billion US Correct article usage
apply
dollar
for their Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
extravegent
festivals .Correct your spelling
extravagant
As well as
,
Some governments dedicate Remove the comma
apply
large
portion of their expenditures Add an article
a large
on
their Change preposition
to
celebrations
and holidays for people's entertainment.
On the other hand
, It is frequently argued by some individuals that The State must focus on offering the best conditions of living for their citizens . For instance
, India has spent over 10 billion US dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
the
Change preposition
in the
last
10 years despite the poor and harsh ways of living the indian
communities are facing and experiencing .Change the capitalization
Indian
Additionally
,some state that with
the amount of money that can be spent on Change preposition
apply
celebrations
,it
can be utilized for improving the country's economy.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To conclude
, i
strongly believe that Change the capitalization
I
individuals
health and Fix the agreement mistake
individual
Correct article usage
the developing
developing
of a country should be the Replace the word
development
government
first priority.Change noun form
government's
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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Avoid vague or general examples. For instance, include statistics or specific instances related to public health improvements due to reallocated funds.
clear comprehensive ideas
It's important to articulate and expand on your key points more comprehensively. This will help in achieving a clearer and more complete response to the essay prompt.
logical structure
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next and that there is a clear, logical progression of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a strong framework for your argument.
complete response
You have addressed the main points of the essay prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding public celebrations and public health priorities.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?