IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart indicates the comparison number of adults joining different types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports in one
regional
Replace the word
region
show examples
 between 1997 and 2017.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
, there were increased trends in most of the sports,
exception
Replace the word
except
show examples
 Cricket and Swimming. The most significant
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
 is basketball, it has raised more than double, from 9
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
 in 1997 to around 22 thousand in 2017.
Whereas
, there was
shapely
Correct article usage
a shapely
show examples
descreased
Correct your spelling
decrease
 in cricket that was about 26 Thousand
people
 in 1997, and only about 8 thousand in the later year 2017.
Also
, we can see from the chart that number of
people
 participated in swimming was the same between 1997 and 2017. Other popular sports which are tennis, football and rugby have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased between
two year
Add a hyphen
two-year
show examples
milstones
Correct your spelling
milestones
milestone
. Particularly, we
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know that Football and Rugby
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 quite similar numbers of
people
 to
take-part
Correct your spelling
part
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, about 31 and 49
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1997 and 2017 respectively.
Submitted by nelson311974 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
What to do next:
Look at other essays: