IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#companies #countries
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In recent times, we
can
Verb problem
have
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observe
Wrong verb form
observed
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 a significant increase in the number of multinational
companies
 in developing countries. Whether
this
 is a positive development or not remains to be a contentious topic,
this
 essay discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 trend. Developing countries are an attractive
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 for
establishment
Add an article
the establishment
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 of multinational
companies
 as they provide cheap
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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, and have
potential
Add an article
the potential
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 for
growth
. In a recent interview, one of the most successful businessmen in the world, Elon Musk, said that he is planning to set up a few projects in India, which is a developing country, as it promises substantial
growth
 in the coming years.
Furthermore
,
this
 trend does not just benefit the
companies
, but
also
 the local people as it increases job opportunities.
Additionally
, these
companies
also
 help in the
economical
Replace the word
economic
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growth
 of the
company
 by being the major contributors
of
Change preposition
to
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 the gross domestic product.
Nevertheless
, not everybody is benefiting from
this
 trend. Big multinational
companies
 have created a monopoly over different sectors
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the market, and
as a consequence
, it has caused a significant loss to small business owners.
Moreover
, it is causing the rich to become richer,
while
 the middle and
lower class
Add a hyphen
lower-class
show examples
 people are constantly struggling to meet
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 daily needs.
For instance
, back in the
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
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, a construction
company
 would pick up
tender
Correct article usage
a tender
show examples
 from a small business at a reasonable price, which allowed reciprocal
growth
.
However
, nowadays, they have to sign contracts with these big
companies
 to continue to exist in the market.
This
 causes a loss to the construction
company
as well as
 the small business owner,
while
 the only one benefiting is the owner of the multinational
company
. In conclusion, it is a truism that
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
show examples
 of multinational
companies
 in developing countries benefits both the
company
 and the country.
However
, it neglects the struggles and problems faced by a vast majority of the population residing there.
Submitted by khushichhillar on

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of multinational companies in developing countries. However, it could benefit from a more in-depth analysis of each argument to provide clearer, more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
While the essay follows a logical structure, consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Incorporating more specific and varied examples could strengthen the essay's arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The main points are effectively supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of Elon Musk’s plans and the impact on small businesses.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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