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Writing Samples
Band 5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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In recent times, we
can
Verb problem
have
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observe
Wrong verb form
observed
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 a significant increase in the number of multinational
companies
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 in developing countries. Whether
this
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 is a positive development or not remains to be a contentious topic,
this
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 essay discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 trend. Developing countries are an attractive
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 for
establishment
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the establishment
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 of multinational
companies
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 as they provide cheap
labor
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labour
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, and have
potential
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the potential
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 for
growth
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. In a recent interview, one of the most successful businessmen in the world, Elon Musk, said that he is planning to set up a few projects in India, which is a developing country, as it promises substantial
growth
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 in the coming years.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trend does not just benefit the
companies
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, but
also
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 the local people as it increases job opportunities.
Additionally
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, these
companies
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also
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 help in the
economical
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economic
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growth
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 of the
company
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 by being the major contributors
of
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to
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 the gross domestic product.
Nevertheless
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, not everybody is benefiting from
this
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 trend. Big multinational
companies
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 have created a monopoly over different sectors
in
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of
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 the market, and
as a consequence
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, it has caused a significant loss to small business owners.
Moreover
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, it is causing the rich to become richer,
while
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 the middle and
lower class
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lower-class
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 people are constantly struggling to meet
the
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their
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 daily needs.
For instance
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, back in the
days
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day
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, a construction
company
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 would pick up
tender
Correct article usage
a tender
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 from a small business at a reasonable price, which allowed reciprocal
growth
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.
However
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, nowadays, they have to sign contracts with these big
companies
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 to continue to exist in the market.
This
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 causes a loss to the construction
company
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as well as
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 the small business owner,
while
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 the only one benefiting is the owner of the multinational
company
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. In conclusion, it is a truism that
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
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 of multinational
companies
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 in developing countries benefits both the
company
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 and the country.
However
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, it neglects the struggles and problems faced by a vast majority of the population residing there.

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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of multinational companies in developing countries. However, it could benefit from a more in-depth analysis of each argument to provide clearer, more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
While the essay follows a logical structure, consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Incorporating more specific and varied examples could strengthen the essay's arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The main points are effectively supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of Elon Musk’s plans and the impact on small businesses.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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