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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graphics illustrate the process for the production of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
 in a hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 station starting at the river and ending
of
Change preposition
at
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 the national grid.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 producing
electricity
Use synonyms
 for individual consumption goes through a complicated process, which involves around
of
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8 stages and these stages are divided into 2 parts: the day
part
Use synonyms
 and the night
part
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the day
part
Use synonyms
,
water
Use synonyms
 through the river into the high-level reservoir which was blocked by the dam and it will open a conduit in the daytime.
Then
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 will be delivered to the
power
Use synonyms
 station, before it into the reversible turbines
whereas
Linking Words
operate
Change the verb form
operating
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generator
Add an article
a generator
the generator
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, the
electricity
Use synonyms
 will be generated flow of the
water
Use synonyms
 during the
senting
Correct your spelling
sending
sensing
. After that, the
electricity
Use synonyms
 will be collected in
generator
Correct article usage
a generator
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 and
then
Linking Words
, through the
power
Use synonyms
 lines, the national grid will have energy to use. Turning now to the night
part
Use synonyms
,
water
Use synonyms
 from the city waste will be placed in the low-level reservoir and
also
Linking Words
 sent to the
power
Use synonyms
 station through the conduit into the reversible turbines. The machine will pump
water
Use synonyms
 into a high-level reservoir
while
Linking Words
 the dam will close
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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night.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, power, part, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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