Now a days the governments are spending more on science relates subjects as they think that this improves the development of a nations. Do you agree or disagree with this.
Governments start allocating most of their money to subjects associated with
science
due to
the fact that they reckon, it can promote the enhancement of the effectiveness of the country. However
, I completely disagree with this
statement, despite the importance of an investment in this
field. Because other subjects require as much attention as science
.
Firstly
, science
can be a great source of income from various start-ups or contemporary technologies that can sharply boost the economy of the entire nation. Nevertheless
, despite all of these modern unique trends associated with science
, it is evident that the nation could not be developed because of one factor. Moreover
, It is a complicated scheme that consists of all the spheres in terms of the occupations. For example
, the US is one of the greatest countries in the world, and it is not because they possess an atomic bomb that has been built by scientists. The power of the US maintains their qualified specialists in international relationships. Therefore
, allocating more capital to science
is not a good thing if their sole aim is the improvement of the country.
Furthermore
, spending finances on what students aim to study or do is more essential. For instance
, their
is no guarantee that students will choose the way related to math or physics, and the amount of money spent on that would be nonsense. Replace the word
there
In addition
, first of all, before investing in a STEM system school program, they need to check the reliability of the teachers carefully. They could fail by using brand-new technologies at school and ineffectively teaching students as frequently occurs in Kazakhstan at high school. Thus
, it is apparent that it could be a risky project and depends on mentors too.
To sum up
, everything that has been stated so far, although
, the development of science
in the country could play a tremendous role in its future outlook, there are also
numerous reasons that could affect it, and spending money in this
field might be too dangerous.Submitted by
zhomart on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay consistently flows from one point to the next, maintaining a clear and concise structure. Work on having a more engaging and specific introduction and conclusion that succinctly encapsulate the main points discussed.
task achievement
Expand on the provided examples and ensure they directly support the claims made in the essay. More specific examples will strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical details such as subject-verb agreement and correct article usage. Also, ensure all lexical choices are appropriate for the context to increase clarity and coherence.
language accuracy
Revise the essay for a few recurring grammatical errors (e.g., "there is no guarantee" instead of "their is no guarantee"). Even small improvements in grammar will make a big difference.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear thesis statement, outlining the writer's stance, which is consistently developed throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and development of ideas are well managed, providing clear reasons for the stance taken against the proposition.
coherence cohesion
Good use of connectors and transitions to guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
The argument acknowledges the potential benefits of investments in science but also highlights the risks and the need for a balanced approach, showcasing critical thinking.
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