‏ some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Working is an It is certainly
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
in our lives. true that
kids
can
achleve
Correct your spelling
achieve
the best if they
work
hard.
However
, not all the effects of
this
innovation have been positive,
although
there are surely some advantages. There are several drawbacks to
tell
Wrong verb form
telling
show examples
kids
to
Work
hard. Exposing children
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
difficult
Work
Can lead them to the potential of disappointment, thereby,
kids
can't be empowered to
work
hard again.
For example
, the result of conducted research illustrates that the race of
kids
who do their best,
then
face unrealistic expectations are suffered from anxiety and pressure.
As a result
,
this
could affect the belief that they on their health.
Moreover
, can achieve anything
while
Working hard which will make them believe only
Working
Change preposition
in Working
show examples
hard, and ignoring other factors that help them to arrive at the
sucseed
Correct your spelling
succeed
such
as luck, talent and opportunity. In spite of these negative aspects,
however
, believing in the power of hard
work
boosts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
.
Kids
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
to develop and improve themself.
for instance
, in some private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, students who are required to
work
hard more
Replace the word
harder
show examples
than others, students perform better than their classmates.
Thus
, they can innovate and create wisely.
Furthermore
, if children used to
work
hard, they will probably be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent people. They may face any issue and solve it by themself like
while
travelling, cleaning •So, they Cooking. their problems. have the responsibility to carry or In conclusion, working hard for children might have both advantages and disadvantages. parents have a vital role in supporting their
kids
to be able to face any issue.
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task achievement
Improve clarity in your ideas by ensuring proper sentence structure. Avoid fragmented and run-on sentences.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to construct and substantiate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Focus on a logical flow of information. Connect your sentences and paragraphs using appropriate linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction to make it clear and engaging. Try to summarize the essay's main points in the conclusion effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
Attempts to provide specific examples to support points made, which can be developed further.
coherence cohesion
Includes an introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a beginning and an end.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inspiration
  • motivation
  • work ethic
  • resilience
  • self-confidence
  • self-worth
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • frustration
  • self-esteem
  • pressure
  • anxiety
  • individual effort
  • collaboration
  • social support
  • systemic factors
  • talent
  • opportunity
  • luck
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