Working is an It is certainly an essential things in our lives. true that kids can achieve the best if they work hard. However, not all the effects of this innovation have been positive, although there are surely some advantages.
Working is an It is certainly an essential thing in our lives. true that
kids
can achieve the best if they work
hard. However
, not all the effects of this
innovation have been positive, although
there are surely some advantages.
There are several drawbacks to telling kids
to Work
hard. Exposing children in
difficult Change preposition
to
Work
Can lead them to the potential of disappointment, thereby, kids
can't be empowered to work
hard again. For example
, the result of conducted research illustrates that the race of kids
who do their best, then
face unrealistic expectations are suffered from anxiety and pressure. As a result
, this
could affect the belief that they on their health. Moreover
, can achieve anything while
Working hard which will make them believe only Working
hard, and ignoring other factors that help them to arrive at Change preposition
in Working
the
Correct article usage
apply
succeed
Replace the word
success
such
as luck, talent and opportunity.
In spite of these negative aspects, however
, believing in the power of hard work
boosts the
Correct article usage
apply
self confidence
.Add a hyphen
self-confidence
Kids
encourage
to develop and improve themself. Wrong verb form
are encouraged
for instance
, in some private schools, students who are required to work
harder than others, students perform better than their classmates. Thus
, they can innovate and create wisely. Furthermore
, if children used to work
hard, they will probably be an
independent people. They may face any issue and solve it by themself like Correct article usage
apply
while
travelling, cleaning •So, they Cooking. their problems. have the responsibility to carry or
In conclusion, working hard for children might have both advantages and disadvantages. parents have a vital role in supporting their kids
to be able to face any issue.Submitted by 13570581 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be clearer and more effective at introducing the topic and summarizing your points. Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your conclusion neatly summarizes your arguments.
supported main points
Your ideas are generally well-supported, but some points could benefit from further elaboration or more specific examples. Make sure each main point is backed up with clear, relevant details.
logical structure
There is a lack of clear logical structure in the essay; some points are not well-organised or clearly connected. Try to use cohesive devices and transitions to make the relationship between ideas clearer.
clear comprehensive ideas
At times, your ideas and arguments are not completely clear. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that every sentence contributes to the main point of the paragraph. This will help create a more coherent and comprehensive argument.
complete response
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt to address different aspects of the topic, both positive and negative effects of hard work on children.
relevant specific examples
You provided specific examples, such as the research result illustrating anxiety and pressure, and private schools where students are required to work harder. This adds substance to your arguments.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...