There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive?

#developments #century #transport #telecommunications #health #development #people #lives #changes

this

modern

age

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age,

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the increase of some technological aspects improved different but

rilevant

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relevant

areas

such

healt

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health

, telecommunications and

trasport

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transport

Technologies

can

simplifie

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simplify

simplifies

simplified

some issues

about

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show examples

these three fields and I think the spread of

technologies

let to make care more

quickly

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quick

show examples

and

efficience

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efficient

, so I want to talk about some features in medicine that developed thank

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apply

show examples

technologies

and

also

future

prospectives

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prospects

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for

this

sector. In our lives we can see some changes caused by

modern

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the modern

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revolution of engineering,

for example

Correct article usage

the smartphone

show examples

smartphone

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smartphones

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Correct word choice

and computer

show examples

computer

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computers

show examples

are device very important in common life,

everydays

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every

we must use

its

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show examples

comunicate

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communicate

or to connect with

another person

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other people

show examples

that

live

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lives

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far away and we can see him immediately thanks

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to these

show examples

these device

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this device

these devices

show examples

Furthermore

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Furthermore,

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the medical area changed especially with

diagnosis

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diagnoses

show examples

more exact and

also

so fast

for example

new

technologies

create

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have created

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some important like

pacemaker

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pacemakers

show examples

that can resolve complicated cardiac

diseas

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diseases

which before it in the majority caused dead.

Basically

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Basically,

show examples

also

computer

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computers

show examples

or digital storage improved healthcare because for a doctor or a nurse is very simple

verifing

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to verify

show examples

patient's

Correct article usage

a patient's

show examples

clinical life and

also

they can add new medical

exam

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exams

show examples

easily. Another example

for

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show examples

how

technologies

make better

this

sector is the

Covid-19

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COVID-19

show examples

pandemy

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pandemic

pandemia

because a lot of

scientist

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scientists

show examples

worked to find a drug that

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

eliminate coronavirus and quickly in six months they created vaccines with

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apply

show examples

new

technologies

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

called

its

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apply

show examples

RNA vaccines that

was

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were

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a good method to not let

diffution

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diffusion

of virus and its worked perfectly. In

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conclusion

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conclusion

conclution

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conclution,

show examples

I explain that technological developments have

positive

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positively

show examples

changed some aspects in different areas in the

last

period and I want to underline how our lives improved especially in

Correct your spelling

Health

Healt

Correct your spelling

the health

sector because is the most important in the world and now we must invest much to create medicine or medical device always better and in future remove all kind of

diseas

Correct your spelling

disease

Submitted by matteosolito03 on Thu Aug 29 2024

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Organization

While your essay presents relevant points regarding the technological developments in medicine, it lacks clear organization and tends to drift between ideas. Focus on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs, each dedicated to a single point or example.

Details and Examples

Consider elaborating more on how exactly these technological advancements have specifically impacted people's lives. Providing concrete examples and detailing their significance will enhance your argument.

Grammar and Spelling

There are several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that can detract from the overall quality of the essay. Pay close attention to sentence construction, punctuation, and spelling to improve clarity.

Vocabulary and Sentence Structure

Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to better capture the reader's attention and demonstrate a higher level of proficiency in English.

Relevance

You have identified the specific technological advancements in the medical field which are relevant to the topic.

Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, providing a coherent start and finish to your essay.

Relevant Example

Your discussion of the COVID-19 pandemic is timely and relevant, demonstrating an understanding of current events.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive?

Fully explain your ideas

Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.