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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's corree and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's corree and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided bar chart illustrates information about
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 which is done in
australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
 five cities about
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 choice of drinking and buying and drinking
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
.The data is calibrated in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be noticed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 was higher who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 as compared to fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
whereas
Linking Words
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 visited to
caffee
Correct your spelling
coffee
for drinking
Change preposition
to drink
show examples
tea
Use synonyms
 or
coffee
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, There was less difference in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who bought
instant
Use synonyms
 and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks which was just above 40% and approximately 46% in
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
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 and Melbourne respectively
while
Linking Words
 the percentile of
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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 who went to caffee for drink
tea
Use synonyms
 or
coffee
Use synonyms
 was 60% in
sydney
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Sydney
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 and around 62% in
melbourne
Change the capitalization
Melbourne
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. In
Brisban
Add a comma
Brisban,
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 approximately 32 percent
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 was just above 50% who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffe
Correct your spelling
coffee
 or went to
Correct article usage
a caffe
show examples
caffe
Correct your spelling
cafe
for drinking
Change preposition
to drink
show examples
tea
Use synonyms
 or
coffee
Use synonyms
.In
adewlaide
Change the capitalization
Adewlaide
show examples
 and
hobart
Change the capitalization
Hobart
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percentage
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
almost same of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was under 40%and 50 and around 52 percent
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in same cities.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tea, coffee, percentage, people, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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