The diagrams below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagrams below show the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates the production cycle of
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
a seven stages, man-made, linear process. It begins with growing the cane and ending with
sugar
drying and cooling. First of all,
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
needs about 12-18 months to grow, after that it is harvested manually by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
or by harvesting trucks. The canes
then
Add a missing verb
are then
show examples
placed into a big crushing machine in order to make juice. Following that, the juice
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
purified using
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter, which is evaporated using heat, where the juice turn
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
syrup.
Then
, the
sugar
crystals
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
from the syrup using
centrifugation
Correct article usage
a centrifugation
show examples
technique.
Finally
, at the
last
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
the
sugar
crystals were dried and cooled down.
Submitted by hazarbakhit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultivation
  • harvesting
  • mechanically
  • juice extraction
  • purifying
  • impurities
  • evaporation
  • concentration
  • crystallization
  • centrifuges
  • distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: