Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Children
noday
. spend too much Correct your spelling
today
time
on their electric equipment. As far as I am concern
, there are several Wrong verb form
concerned
resons
causing contributing to Correct your spelling
reasons
this
issue and it have
Change the verb form
has
has
a negative effect on their development.
Change the verb form
had
Smartphone
has a wide range of Add an article
The smartphone
softwares
for people to use and Correct your spelling
software
entertaint
. Students who Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertain
under
heavy Add a missing verb
are under
presure
are able to realise it from Correct your spelling
pressure
searcing
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searching
gumes
or short Correct your spelling
magazines
vedo vedio
. What's more, they can find Correct your spelling
video videos
the
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apply
freinds
with the same Correct your spelling
friends
interest
and hobbies outcome online even though they they arrive in the same city or counter. The Fix the agreement mistake
interests
fuling
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filing
folding
activeties
can greatly Correct your spelling
activities
distracts
them from the real world. Plus, people are able to Change the verb form
distract
to
search Remove the redundancy
apply
abundant
Change preposition
for abundant
informtion
Correct your spelling
information
while
scrolling online, there is no need to ask others. In the normal case which ed heard chennal less
effective for learning. Add a missing verb
is less
As a result
, children
treend
to spe spend more Correct your spelling
tend
time
in
their Change preposition
on
Smarthphones
.
Correct your spelling
smartphones
However
, this
teend
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trend
tendencey
Correct your spelling
tendency
tendencies
also
have
some Correct subject-verb agreement
has
bocked
drawbacks for Correct your spelling
blocked
children
's development. At first and foremost, if children
are are
Remove the redundancy
apply
easly
get Correct your spelling
easily
addoicicted
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addicted
in
the ant lose control Change preposition
to
in
the Change preposition
of
entertament
on Correct your spelling
entertainment
smap
smartphone, which Correct your spelling
a
lead
to Change the verb form
leads
a
less interest and concentration Remove the article
apply
on
their lessons Change preposition
in
studey
. Parents would be retrin Correct your spelling
study
rebrudent
to for Correct your spelling
prudent
represent
Change the verb form
competing
compete
their Add the preposition
compete for
homwork
because they Correct your spelling
homework
they
put other Remove the redundancy
apply
time
and energy on smarthphone
. In Correct your spelling
smartphone
smartphones
this
case, good parients
have to Correct your spelling
parents
compol
or Correct your spelling
compel
threath
them to have a have Correct your spelling
treat
behavior
on Change the spelling
behaviour
learing
. The relationship between child and parents became worse like a Correct your spelling
learning
viscy
circle.
In conclusion, the progress of Correct your spelling
vicious
Correct article usage
the intermet
intermet
Correct your spelling
Internet
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
children
to stend
spend Verb problem
apply
time
everday
, and it is a Correct your spelling
everyday
every day
double edged
sword. If Add a hyphen
double-edged
a students
can not control themself to use it, it would be in the Correct the article-noun agreement
students
a student
hed
side for their Correct your spelling
head
develpoment
.Correct your spelling
development
Submitted by s_syedy on
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Grammar and Spelling
Focus on proofreading your essay to eliminate spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'noday' should be 'nowadays,' 'resons' should be 'reasons,' 'realise' should be 'relieve,' etc.
Organizational Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are logically sequenced. For example, move from discussing why children spend time on smartphones to the consequences more smoothly.
Supportive Details
Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points, such as specific types of apps or games children might use, and how these impact their daily lives.
Conclusion
Work on concluding your essay more effectively by summarizing your main points and restating your stance clearly.
Task Response
Your essay addresses both parts of the question, identifying reasons why children spend time on smartphones and discussing the effects.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have made an attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.