Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Children

noday

Correct your spelling

today

. spend too much

time

on their electric equipment. As far as I am

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

, there are several

resons

Correct your spelling

reasons

causing contributing to

this

issue and it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

has

Change the verb form

had

show examples

a negative effect on their development.

Smartphone

Add an article

The smartphone

show examples

has a wide range of

softwares

Correct your spelling

software

for people to use and

entertaint

Correct your spelling

entertainment

entertain

. Students who

under

Add a missing verb

are under

show examples

heavy

presure

Correct your spelling

pressure

are able to realise it from

searcing

Correct your spelling

searching

show examples

gumes

Correct your spelling

magazines

or short

vedo vedio

Correct your spelling

video videos

. What's more, they can find

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

freinds

Correct your spelling

friends

with the same

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

and hobbies outcome online even though they they arrive in the same city or counter. The

fuling

Correct your spelling

filing

folding

activeties

Correct your spelling

activities

can greatly

distracts

Change the verb form

distract

show examples

them from the real world. Plus, people are able to

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

abundant

Change preposition

for abundant

show examples

informtion

Correct your spelling

information

while

scrolling online, there is no need to ask others. In the normal case which ed heard chennal

less

Add a missing verb

is less

show examples

effective for learning.

As a result

children

treend

Correct your spelling

tend

to spe spend more

time

Change preposition

show examples

their

Smarthphones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

However

this

teend

Correct your spelling

trend

tendencey

Correct your spelling

tendency

tendencies

also

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some

bocked

Correct your spelling

blocked

drawbacks for

children

's development. At first and foremost, if

children

are

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

easly

Correct your spelling

easily

get

addoicicted

Correct your spelling

addicted

Change preposition

show examples

the ant lose control

Change preposition

show examples

the

entertament

Correct your spelling

entertainment

smap

Correct your spelling

smartphone, which

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

less interest and concentration

Change preposition

show examples

their lessons

studey

Correct your spelling

study

. Parents would be retrin

rebrudent

Correct your spelling

prudent

represent

to for

Change the verb form

competing

show examples

compete

Add the preposition

compete for

show examples

their

homwork

Correct your spelling

homework

because they

they

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

put other

time

and energy on

smarthphone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

smartphones

. In

this

case, good

parients

Correct your spelling

parents

have to

compol

Correct your spelling

compel

threath

Correct your spelling

treat

them to have a have

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

. The relationship between child and parents became worse like a

viscy

Correct your spelling

vicious

circle. In conclusion, the progress of

Correct article usage

the intermet

show examples

intermet

Correct your spelling

Internet

attract

Correct subject-verb agreement

attracts

show examples

children

stend

Verb problem

apply

show examples

spend

time

everday

Correct your spelling

everyday

every day

, and it is a

double edged

Add a hyphen

double-edged

show examples

sword. If

a students

Correct the article-noun agreement

students

a student

show examples

can not control themself to use it, it would be in the

hed

Correct your spelling

head

show examples

side for their

develpoment

Correct your spelling

development

Submitted by s_syedy on Fri Aug 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Spelling

Focus on proofreading your essay to eliminate spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'noday' should be 'nowadays,' 'resons' should be 'reasons,' 'realise' should be 'relieve,' etc.

Organizational Structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are logically sequenced. For example, move from discussing why children spend time on smartphones to the consequences more smoothly.

Supportive Details

Provide more detailed examples to illustrate your points, such as specific types of apps or games children might use, and how these impact their daily lives.

Conclusion

Work on concluding your essay more effectively by summarizing your main points and restating your stance clearly.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both parts of the question, identifying reasons why children spend time on smartphones and discussing the effects.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have made an attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?
There are calls for governments and individuals to address environmental problems that have been caused by human activities.
7.5
band
At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.
In contemporary society, certain nations are experiencing a demographic imbalance, with a substantial proportion of youths and a comparatively minority of elderlies. This situation prompts a critical examination of whether the benefits of a juvenile-dominated population surpass the drawbacks. This essay will explore the merits and demerits of such a demographic shift, supported by relevant examples and personal insights.
7
band
In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. While some people think that this is good for a country, others believe that salaries should be controlled by the government to limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
No one can deny that earning a decent salary is one of the most important motives to work efficiently. Some people believe that intelligent and highly talented individuals must earn high salaries, while I think the government should limit the money earned by these so that we all become equal in money and lifestyle.
<4
band
A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?
The establishment is deciding to spend money between arts or to preserve envieonment .In my opinion the money should be given for the environment over the arts project since the huge decline of our environment these days . Investing in environmental protection ensures long-term benifits for us and our future generations, including fresh air and clean drinking water .
6.5
band
These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?
Nowadays, it is true that packed foods travel long distances before being consumed by consumers. There are more advantages if the food can be grown locally instead of imported from outside the country which leads to a variety of beneficial traits such as economic and environmental benefits. I strongly believe that growing food locally would bring more opportunities to the local market and nature.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

A company is going to give some money either to support the arts or to protect the environment. Which do you think the company should choose?

These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?