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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that giving children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #amount #money #week #future
Some believe that the concept of giving a specific amount of
money
 to offspring weekly will help them have a more stable financial status in the future,
while
 some argue that it could bring negative effects. I strongly agree with
this
 approach. In the following paragraph, these benefits it offers will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
Firstly
,
this
 approach provides easy financial management for children. They can learn about saving
money
 for expenditures
such
 as commuting and meal costs during weekdays, which significantly creates frugal behaviour and recognition of the value of
money
.
This
 encourages young people to
further
 study financial and economic literacy in the future, leading to sustainable financial status in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term.
Secondly
, giving certain
money
 to children has made them more disciplined in various aspects.
This
 could be a potential tool for parenting children by regulating.
For instance
, if they behave badly or unfollow commands, reducing weekly
money
 is a severe punishment for them.
Additionally
, the limited amount of
money
, results in buying only goods that
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 them, as they can not afford unnecessary things.
For example
, snacks and toys. In conclusion,
while
this
 approach has some negative aspects,
such
 as spending
money
 on inappropriate things,
money
 loose. With careful guidance and support in financial knowledge ,its positive effects on creating frugal behaviour, promoting financial management and enhancing discipline are far more significant.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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task achievement
To enhance the clarity of your argument, try to address potential counterarguments more explicitly. This demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the topic and provides a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between points are smooth to maintain the flow of the essay. Using linking phrases consistently will improve coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and provides a good overview of your stance, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively, which strengthens your argument.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported and logically structured, contributing to a well-rounded argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • weekly allowances
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • financial management
  • spending choices
  • future goals
  • experiential learning
  • trial and error
  • funds
  • independence
  • decision making
  • delayed gratification
  • debt
  • financial woes
  • financial habits
  • overspending
  • undervaluing money
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