TASK-2 Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#task- #celebrity-such #film #star #sports #personality-brings #celebrity

Some

people

argue that celebrities or sports have advantages and disadvantages.

This

is because they could inspire

people

to pursue their careers and follow their

dreams

On the other hand

, they could bring harm to

people

due to

their luxurious lifestyle that

people

cannot easily follow. I will explain

this

statement in the next paragraphs. So many public figures,

such

as movie stars or sports players, have become inspirations for young

people

to build their

dreams

. One of the reasons is they encourage future generations to work on their

dreams

to achieve success in the future.

For example

, Cristiano Ronaldo, the biggest football player in the world, started his professional career when he was 10 years old. Looking at his career since he was young, will help new generations look at his history and start their passion for gaining success.

However

, being popular in the world

also

brings some disadvantages to

people

who see it, especially nowadays the internet makes popular

people

share their extravaganza private lives on social media. Showing their luxurious life will encourage their followers to pursue the same lifestyle, which will lead to overconsuming and wasting money. Normal citizens will push themselves to spend for stuff that they barely can afford.

As a result

, it can bring harm rather than benefit for following their idol lifestyles. In conclusion, famous movie stars or sports celebrities can bring benefits and problems for

people

who like them. They can be

such

an inspiration for young generations to work on their

dreams

while

they can cause problems

due to

their expensive lifestyles that

people

can not afford to follow.

Submitted by anggiagni on Fri Aug 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay logically progresses from one idea to the next, but you could enhance the logical structure by making your arguments more interconnected. Consider using transition words to guide the reader smoothly through your points.

task achievement

For better task achievement, make sure that each paragraph thoroughly addresses a single idea before moving on to another. This will help to clearly present your points, making your argument stronger and more cohesive.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and cover all aspects of the task, but try to delve deeper into each example to provide more comprehensive support for your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and analysis of the topic.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for your discussion, as well as a concise conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.

relevant specific examples

You have supported your arguments with relevant examples, such as the reference to Cristiano Ronaldo, which adds weight to your points and makes your essay more convincing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TASK-2 Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The machines are now doing many things that use to be done in the home by hand. Advantages and disadvantages?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good father.

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.