IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.

#pictures #show #information #income #food #clothes #city #uk
The pie charts and table illustrate the total payment received and spent on food and
clothes
 by the citizens of the United Kingdom between 2010 and 2013.
Overall
, it can be seen from the diagrams in initial the income was higher and expenses were lower,
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
 the final year, it reversed and income plunged and spending on food and
clothes
 increased. It is conspicuous that the income per person was 29000 in 2010, which plunged to 25000 after three years period and consumers spent 14000 in 2010 after it plummeted to 15000 in 2013. From the first pie chart in 2010, people spent on
clothes
 26% and it swelled to 30% in 2013, the growth of dairy products extended from 12% in 2010 and augmented to 16% in 2013.
In addition
, it can be experienced there was no change in spending on other food it was only 18% in both years. Probing ahead, spending on
clothes
 was downward trajectory from 15% to 13% in 2010 and 2013 respectively.
Furthermore
, there was a sharp decline in meat and fish products which was 29% in 2010 and
further
, it reduced to 23% in 2013.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
You have presented a clear response to the task and addressed both income and expenditure over the given years. To improve further, ensure that all figures and trends are described more accurately without any contradictions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and overview are well-presented, but the essay would benefit from a more detailed conclusion that summarizes the key points clearly.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit hard to follow due to minor grammatical errors and complex structuring. Simplify your sentences and correct grammatical inaccuracies for better readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that separate the data description logically.
task achievement
The response addresses both income and expenditure aspects, providing a comprehensive look at the changes over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average income
  • spending habits
  • proportion
  • cost of living
  • economic changes
  • cultural factors
  • standard of living
  • economic health
  • leftover income
  • savings
  • expenses
  • financial trends
  • value for money
  • economic forecasts
  • significant increase/decrease
  • spending patterns
What to do next:
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