The chart below shows what anthroplogy graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in the work after five years.

The chart below shows what anthroplogy graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in the work after five years.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The below pie chart depicts the distribution of students in varied destinations from a particular university after awarding their undergraduate degree in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anthropology course.
In addition
Linking Words
, the table displays the wage proportion of the
graduates
Use synonyms
in three employment sectors. In general, the majority of former students entered the workplace
thereafter
Linking Words
their undergraduate study,
whereas
Linking Words
the least number of
graduates
Use synonyms
continued their postgrad study
while
Linking Words
having part-time work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
who work within the government sector tend to
wage with
Verb problem
earn
show examples
the highest salaries,
while
Linking Words
those working in private companies seem to have fewer opportunities to fall into
this
Linking Words
category.
According to
Linking Words
the data shown, it is evident that
graduates
Use synonyms
who became full-time workers account for the largest proportion, figuring at 52%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, merely 5% of all the
graduates
Use synonyms
had chosen to pursue their postgrad
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
while
Linking Words
carrying on a part-time job. The rest of the students either remain unemployed after graduation or apply for a full-time postgraduate course.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, a higher fraction of
graduates
Use synonyms
preferred to get a master's degree than unemployed about 4% more. Turning to the figures on salaries, more than half of employees in the government sector earn ten thousand dollars or above, meanwhile, workers that earn
this
Linking Words
amount of income only constitute up to 40% and 30% respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, private companies' employees are distributed more equally throughout the four wage levels.
Submitted by annaipsw13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • undergraduate degree
  • anthropology graduates
  • career paths
  • further education
  • full-time employment
  • part-time work
  • self-employment
  • postgraduate studies
  • salary progression
  • salary growth
  • government sector
  • private sector
  • non-profit organizations
  • demand for anthropologists
  • sector-specific skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: