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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their students, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

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It is argued that
schooluniforms
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school uniforms
 and student appearances are vital for some schools,
however
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, other schools do not have strict
schooluniforms
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school uniforms
school uniform
.
This
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 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
schooluniforms
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school uniforms
 for
children
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. On the one hand, there are plenty of advantages to
wear
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wearing
show examples
uniforms
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 to
school
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 for
children
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.
Firstly
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, strict
school
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uniforms
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 may reduce bullying among
schoolchildren
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.
For instance
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, some
studentsfrom
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students from
 first-class families who wear luxury brand clothes may bully other
students
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 who cannot brand-known clothes.
Secondly
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,
uniforms
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 may increase focus on studies, as they will concentrate more on studies when they all wear the same clothes.
For instance
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,
according to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research in the USA,
students
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' academic performance and discipline have improved significantly among
schoolchildren
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 who wear
uniforms
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.
As a result
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,
school
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uniforms
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 may force equality and reduce the stress between
children
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 at
school
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.
On the other hand
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, wearing
school
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uniforms
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 several disadvantages for
students
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. First of all,
uniforms
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 may cause discomfort for
students
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. Some kids may not
comfortable
Add a missing verb
be comfortable
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 wearing certain kinds of fabrics or the standard sizes of
school
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uniforms
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 may not fit.
For example
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, some
schoolchildren
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 may be allergic to certain kinds of fabrics, so they need to wear special
clothe
Correct subject-verb agreement
clothes
show examples
.
Secondly
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,
uniforms
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 restrict the freedom of self-expression.
For example
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,
students
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 might not have the option to choose an outfit that reflects their style and preferences.
As a result
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,
schoolchildren
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 may feel discomfort
while
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 wearing
school
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uniforms
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 and stress at
schoolmay
Correct your spelling
school may
 increase.
To sum up
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, the benefits
uniforms
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 bring to
children
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 are less bullying and improved academic performance at schools.
Furthermore
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, the drawbacks are discomfort for
students
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 and restriction of self-expression. In my opinion,
uniforms
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 should not be strict for
schoolchildren
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, as they might have a negative effect on their individuality.

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task achievement
Consider including more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, instead of general statements, provide detailed instances that illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
Some ideas could be further expanded and clarified. For example, provide more detailed explanations of how uniforms reduce bullying or how they increase academic performance. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on minimizing grammatical and spelling mistakes to enhance the clarity of your essay. Properly spacing words and ensuring correct word forms can make a significant difference.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to use transitional phrases or connectors throughout the essay to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your argumentation more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms. This shows a good understanding of the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body points, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single idea which enhances readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attire
  • equality
  • identity
  • belonging
  • pride
  • expression
  • formal dress
  • school spirit
  • social pressure
  • distracted
  • economical
  • diverse wardrobe
  • discipline
  • prepares
  • uncomfortable
  • individuality
  • expense
  • specified
  • rebellious
  • vendors
  • discomfort
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